Anna's life begins to haunt her while she starts to over think everything. She never thought that she would have been the act of someone trying to do a "good deed" or however you wanna look at it. She knew that it wasn't her fault, but she couldn't help to think that this was all her fault. She should have been more desirable, stable, and just all around OK. She knew or at least hoped that being damaged was acceptable, by someone. Everyone has flaws and that's OK, at least maybe... "being perfect is boring" she thinks to herself, as she sits alone on the park swing set. Talking to David made her second guess everything that she thought was so right in her life. Friends don't treat friends like dirt and make them feel small. Parents aren't supposed to make their kids feel like they can't do anything and it is definitely not acceptable to throw stuff and your daughter because you are mad.
Anna's home life was getting a lot worse. She didn't know how to handle it, so she often decided to ignore it. If she didn't think about it, it wasn't happening. Anna's dad is becoming an addict, and that made his temper become worse. The worst incident was when he threw tools at her and her mom because he was mad while trying to do some repair work. That made her and her mom pack up their things and leave, to bad he never even noticed or cared. As Anna leans her head on the swing chain a tear runs down her cheek. Nothing in her life was normal, but then again what is? As Anna continues to ponder things she looks around the neighborhood and wonders if anyone's life is as crazy as hers. Ever since her mom and her went back home from leaving her dad she finds herself not wanting to be home a lot. The park swing became her place of peace or "fortress of solitude".
Anna gets a text on her phone, she wants to ignore it but she decides to look at it. What she reads makes her fall off the swing. One of her childhood friends had died. He wasn't in her life to much now because he changed to much for them to still be friends. But she still can't overcome this flood of sadness that is taking over her. As she starts walking over to his house she keeps trying to think about what happened. As she approaches the door his brother comes outside her and tells her everything that happened. He had gotten into a high speed chase in a stolen car and got into a serious car accident that killed him. After telling her what happened he asked her to leave because things were so tense in the house. Anna can take a hint so she left. As she got to the end of the block she started crying her eyes out. She sits on the corner next to the gutter and composes herself before she makes the journey home. Her dad thinks that crying is stupid and annoying so if she came home crying who knows what he would say.
©Amanda Catherine
I've been debating on writing about this for a while. I've been hinting at the problems with my dad for a while but I didn't know how to write about it. I hope that no one thinks of my dad as a bad person, as he did over come his addiction. But this is to much apart of my life for me to not write about. No more hiding, acting like it didn't happen. This is it. This is as real as it gets.
<3 MandAnna
(pardon the grammar mistakes if there are any.)
<3
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