Anna had kind of put herself into her own little bubble where no one could bother her. From her perspective no one wanted to talk to her anyway so this was just easier. This is why she found it very confusing when she was actually getting noticed by boys, and not just boys but nice boys! Not saying that she didn't have crushes, but she never thought about acting upon them. She was always dealing with enough without adding boys to the mix. This is why what happened next was very strange... a boy approached Anna and didn't immediately ask her to talk him up to Jenny. He talked to her with respect and didn't bring up any of the other rumors that had made their way around school earlier that year. After talking to him in guitar class for the whole period Anna felt like she was floating on a cloud. No one had ever complimented her before without jokingly taking it back later in a conversation or by making it a perverted joke. While walking out from class she felt so high on romance that she didn't even notice anyone around her making fun of her or trying to talk to her.
Later that week, as their relationship grew she found out that he was a transfer student that just started this last semester. His name was Ashton and Anna became infatuated with him. When all of her friends found out about him since they always took the bus together and sat in the same seat most of them were very happy for Anna but of course Ashley and Jenny had to put thoughts into her head that were not true. They kept saying that he was only talking to her because he wanted to get into her pants and that he just felt sorry for her. At first when they said this it made Anna question everything that had been going on with him but as their relationship became more she knew that they were both wrong and trying to get inside her head. Anna and Ashton carried on their High School fling for quite some time, and all was fine until he became friends with Ashley.
It wasn't surprising that Ashton and Ashley became friends as they live close to each other and share a lot of classes together. What was amazing is the thing that happened next... Of course Ashley had to introduce him to Jenny since they were such "close" friends. Ashton was trying to play it cool as Anna was not around when this was going on but then Jenny tried putting the moves on him! As Ashton was trying to play it cool and avoid Jenny's awkward attempts of kissing him Anna walks in. Ashley and Jenny had invited her over once she was done with dance class. Anna walks inside as Jenny is trying to tackle Ashton to the floor to kiss him since he kept refusing everything that she tried with him. Anna knew that they were trying to get them to break up because Jenny was jealous that someone actually liked her for a change. As Jenny is straddled over Ashton Anna bursts out laughing. It wasn't the time or the place to start laughing but she couldn't help it. The look on Ashton's face was everything to her. As Anna went and helped him up after Jenny tackled him he looks at Anna and says "so this is why you never noticed me trying to talk to you before. You where to busy trying to be invisible so you wouldn't have to deal with this."Anna smiles as she said "Wow you really get me. Do you have sisters or something?" He stands up and looks at her intently and says "actually I have a younger and an older sister." Anna smiles and says "I freaking knew it. I'd love to meet them sometime." He wraps his arm around her and they walk out the door talking about how they should head over to his house to hang out since this was the first time they had seen each other outside of school.
As they get outside and make their way up the street Anna stops him and says "before we continue this I have something I really need to tell you." He brushes her hair behind her ear and says "I'm listening." Anna takes in a really deep breath and tries to talk but nothing comes out. Frustrated she puts her head down and tries to compose her thoughts the best she could. Ashton gets closer and says "don't worry... I won't judge you." She looks at him and tells him about all the rumors and everything that Jenny and Ashley had started about her. "I just fell like you needed to know what you were getting into when you hang around me" she says. "My life is a mess and more often then not I have to deal with more than I can handle and I don't want that to scare you away but you really need to know the truth. I want to give you an out know before we get even more involved." He takes a step back from her and says "but it isn't like you did all those things right?" Anna stares at him speechless. She was really upset that he asked that, even though it was a valid question. Thoughts began running through her head. "Why did I tell him? What did I do? Why do I always mess everything up? I should just walk away and avoid this... I was fine before this..." She eventually was able to open her mouth and say "no". She waits a few seconds and then begins to turn around and walk away. She gets a few steps away when she hears "I don't care...I don't care at all." She stops wanting to go turn around but keeps walking thinking to herself "if he wasn't able to handle this very well how would he handle everything else that happened and is still happening with Lincoln." She starts shuffling through her backpack to try and find her CD player and headphones to play sad emo songs about romance as she walked home in the dark when she feels a tap on her shoulder. Anna starts getting a little upset because she thought that it was Jenny for some reason. She looks out of the corner of her eye and sees Ashton. Anna freezes, she didn't know what to do.
Ashton walks in front of her and says "I'm sorry that wasn't cool but you can't just walk away when someone asks you a question." Not knowing what to do because she wanted to walk away again she kind of gives him a stink eye. Finally able to mutter out some words she says "What if I were to tell you that that wasn't even half of it, What if I was to tell you that it only got worse from there. Ug.. things happened to me, things I couldn't control even though I tried." Anna starts getting all teared up because this is what she was trying to avoid. She continues and says "I'm terrified of you and I am afraid to tell you why. You don't want to get involved with me. I want to tell you now because I know if I don't you'll find out from someone else later and they'll make me seem like the awful one." Anna was on a roll and full of emotions as she continues muttering random things when she accidentally says "I was sexually assaulted by Ashley's brother and their mom made me apologize because they thought I was ruining his chance of a football scholarship." Her eyes get big as she puts her hand over her mouth. Shifting his body weight from leg to leg he turns around and starts heading back to Ashley's house. She starts following him trying to ask him where he was going, even though she already knew. After that didn't work she kept trying to get him to stop walking. Her efforts always failed. As they get to the door she gets in front of him before he can enter or ring the doorbell. Trying to calm him down the only way she knew how. He rings the doorbell and as Ashley answered the door Ashton didn't say anything. Anna didn't know what was going on she so she improvised and said "did I leave my headphones here. I just can't seem to find them. " She shuffles around in her backpack and then says "oh here they are! Oh man I'm such a ditz... see you guys later and pulls the door shut on Ashley. "This is over you, you can't make this better. "What happened is done and over I just thought you should know my past because it made me pretty fucked up" Anna says trying to push Ashton away from the door. As they finally make their way out the the street a few houses away Ashton says "I'm not mad at you for what you said I just want you to know that I am not OK with this."
To Be Continued...
©Amanda Catherine
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