Time (A Poem)

Tick, tick, tick,
Time keeps going.
Pacing back and forth
Nervous racing.
Nothing would make him
More happy than
For time to stop.

This moment is more
Than he can take.
Reality hit him hard
And consequences
Are soon to come.
No one expected
This to happen.

All of the sudden
His life turned dark.
He lost all
he had ever
Known to some
Stupid mistake.
He can't take
It back now.
His only love
Was gone.

©Amanda Catherine

Rewind (A Poem)

I lay awake,
Thinking of what
To write.
You cross my mind,
Last night
I dreamt of you.
You kissed my forehead
Made me feel
Like everything
Was ok...
Is ok.

Life wasn't terrifying
It was a beautiful
Piece of mystery.
No reason to runaway,
Every reason to hit rewind.

©Amanda Catherine

Where Friendship Goes Wrong: A True Story: Assaulted... Again

As Anna and Lincoln start arguing in the middle of his living room his family took notice and was trying to figure out what was going on with them. Anna could care less, because she already wasn't to fond of their mom because of their past experiences. As the argument between them became more heated Anna started grabbing all her stuff and heading for the door again. It was starting to feel like she was never going to leave this house. Anna makes it outside and runs to her car before Lincoln can catch her and get in turns on the car and speeds off. All she knew was that she couldn't face him and she couldn't face his family judging her for all her mistakes. She starts driving not sure where to go. Her parents think that she is at Ashley and Lincoln's for dinner so she could go where ever her heart desired. She ended up at the park that was about a half a mile away from where Ashley and Lincoln's house is. This is where she came to do her deepest thinking. 

While she sat in her favorite swing she put her headphones in trying to tone out the whole world around her. It was getting dark but none of that mattered, she needed to cool off. Her phone kept ringing and it was always Ashley, Anna kept ignoring it. She started getting really freaked out when she kept getting phone calls from Lincoln only a few minutes apart from each other. Her voicemail box kept getting fuller and fuller until all the phone calls just stopped. She pulls out her phone and starts going through it, but she didn't dare listen to those voicemail's. It was at this point that she wished she had unlimited texting from the overwhelming amount of them she was getting. She finally decides to at least call Ashley back and let her know she was OK. As the phone starts ringing she feels a grab on her shoulder. Anna turns around and closes her phone in shock as soon as she saw who it was. "How is it going" he says. Anna stands there in silence. "David, what are you doing here, I thought I was the only one ever out this late." "Well I live across the street and when I saw you speed down I thought I would come check on you." Anna smiles and says "that is very sweet but believe me you do not want to know what is going on with me, you will find out how crazy I really am. And not in the good way." "We all have our pasts" he says. Well in that case Anna mumbles as she starts to break down and tell him everything that had just happened. 

Anna finishes up telling him everything she sees a shadow from someone heading toward them. As it starts to get closer Anna could tell that it was Lincoln. Anna tells David that is was probably best that he left, but he refused to leave. She kept insisting because she knew how bad it may get, But he still refused. Anna looks at David and says "you wanna get outta here? I don't know a lot but I know I don't wanna be here." They both come to an agreement to leave and they ended up at a park further away. As they get to the park Anna looks at her phone and all that was on there was a text fro Lincoln calling her a bitch and a coward for running away from the confrontation. But as Anna was away from Lincoln they more she realized how out of control everything had got. She didn't want to be the girl who was to afraid to face reality and her reality was that she chose was to mess around with her assaulter because at least he liked her. This had to turn into a thing of the past for her. Like a bad memory no one wants to remember.

A few weeks go by and Anna had made no contact with Lincoln and she was spending more time on her school work, which is something she had never done. It turned into a nice distraction for her. She was also spending more and more time with David. He was a breath of fresh air to be around because not only did he not judge her for her past mistakes but he helped her not make new ones. All was going well until Lincoln stopped by the school to see Ashley. While Anna was walking out of school putting her books back in her book bag she looks up and there he is standing beneath a tree, right next to her car. Not giving a single care Anna walks up to her car and starts putting her stuff in it to leave. Lincoln slowly begins to walk toward her hoping that she wouldn't notice, but it is because of him that she noticed everything it seemed like. She doesn't even look at him and says and "you should stop being such a creeper, it's not cool." He says fine and comes up to her and catches her off guard as she is walking and shoves her up against the car and starts touching her all over while screaming "I guess this is what you like, You're such a whore!" Anna struggles to get away as he starts trying to take off her clothes but it wasn't working. She ends up being in a position to knee him in the groin and takes advantage of it. Once she knees him in the groin she pushes him over to have more time to get away. She gets in her car and locks the door and climbs to the front seat, Lincoln is still on the floor and Anna drives away never looking back.

©Amanda Catherine

  

Where Friendship Goes Wrong: A True Story: Run

Anna continues running to her car more flustered than ever. She tries to get her keys and drops them on the sidewalk, tries to grab them and then trips over her book bag. She couldn't believe what was happening to her and she wanted this nightmare to end. She gets her keys and gets the door to her car unlocked and throws all her stuff in it. She hears the screen door open and whips around and yells "I am not in the mood for your bullshit anymore." Lincoln stops mid step and starts to get even more angry with Anna. He didn't understand what was wrong with her and she didn't care to elaborate as to why she was so upset. To her it was obvious. He proceeds to walk over to her car as Anna is getting in and puts his hand to the door and pushes it close. Anna now looking at the concrete crying says "what do you want, haven't you done enough? He tries to wipe away her tears but Anna jerks away and does it herself. She starts to look around and get all adjudicated and says "you don't get to do this, you don't get to come out here and try and make everything better. It's ruined and you ruined it." Lincoln looks at her and grabs her chin to make better eye contact and says "I never meant to hurt you. I am so sorry." "I don't trust you and how dare you say that to me. You knew what you were doing." Anna whispers back to him. "Have I ever told you how pretty you are he continues, your eyes are so beautiful. It's like I can see you, like really see you." Anna at this point in time really wants to make a snarky comment but starts to get weak in the knees from everything that he is saying to her. They stand in the street staring at each other for a while neither one of them wanting to make the next move. Time goes by but still feels like they are the only ones in the world or at least on this street.

Anna wanted to believe everything that Lincoln was saying to her but a little voice in the back of her head was telling her to run, run and never look back. In her mind she was trying to talk herself out of everything she was wanting to believe. But it all came down to why is he doing this. 

As she focuses back on reality the only words that leave her mouth are "why are you doing this?" This was a valid question and she needed to know for her own sake and sanity. He bounces back with "why are you pushing me away?" "You know why I am pushing you away" she snaps and continues with "now it's your turn." He looks at her, really looks at her and goes back inside leaving Anna alone. She starts talking to herself and getting really angry with everything that had just happened. Knowing she needs to go home eventually she gets in her car and just sits in it. At least I am in the car she thought to herself, that's half the battle. A few minutes go by and she starts her car to head home. Right as she does this Ashley and her mom pull up in the driveway. Anna tries to compose herself to make it look like she wasn't just put through emotional hell and gets out of her car to say hi to them. Anna heads up to the driveway when Ashley's mom stops her and says that she should stay for dinner. Anna immediately says no but thanks her for the offer. As soon as she says no Ashley pops up and says "Why not? I miss you, please stay we already cleared it with your mom." Anna's face turns pale as she says "well OK, I guess I could try and... yeah that sounds good." Ashley grabs her arm and drags her inside and yells at Lincoln that Anna was staying for dinner. He comes out of his room tries to hide the fact that he was just crying. He walks next to Anna and says "OK that's cool, I guess... whatever."

If there was one thing Anna could feel right now that was his pain, mainly because she felt the same. They both did not want to be in the same room together. Ashley turns on the TV and all Anna can think of is "yes, finally some distraction." As Anna sits on the sofa she was expecting Ashley to plop next to her, but instead she sits on the floor next to Anna's feet. Anna tried to get Ashley to switch spots with her but it was useless. Lincoln comes in the living room and stops because he realized where he would have to sit. Ashley notices and says "You big baby just sit next to Anna, I swear she doesn't bite." He tried to turn around but gets stopped again and gets forced into staying. As he goes to sit next to Anna, Anna tries to scoot as far over to the one side as she can having flashbacks from the last time they sat near each other. Ashley notices and comments on how weird they are both acting. They both blow it off and try to keep it cool. That is until Lincoln put his hand on her hand when no one was looking, Anna tried to just ignore it and pulled her hand away but then he put his hand on her leg and that made Anna explode. At that point in time Anna and Lincoln were right where they left off again. Screaming at each other and getting no where, except this time it was in front of people and those people definitely  noticed. 

©Amanda Catherine 

Glimmer (A Poem)

Everything is OK

At least that is what I tell myself.

I turn on the radio,

see what new jam is on.

Nothing new, 

just songs that 

remind me of you.

I try to listen 

but it is too hard.

My mind flashbacks

to all the moments we

had together 

driving in my car,

With nothing to do.

Staring at the stars

that are oh so bright.

With each glimmer

a new moment is made 

that we will never 

want to take back.

I remember those times now

as I walk these 

empty streets alone.

My mind wanders 

with every corner I turn,

I hope to see you but

You are never in sight.

My hopes are to high

when it comes to the 

reality of you.

We lost ourselves 

which means I lost you.

©Amanda Catherine

Where Friendship Goes Wrong: A True Story: A New Day

As the sun starts to rise Anna is laying in her bed with her eyes wide open. Her thoughts had successfully kept her up all night. She didn't know whether to be excited about going to school and seeing everyone or not. Her first instinct was no, but maybe today was different, a new day of sorts. She disables her alarm before it goes off and heads to the bathroom to start getting ready. She looks at herself in the mirror and all she can think about is how messed up she is becoming. And is it normal to feel this way. She slaps on some foundation and eye shadow and runs upstairs after she hears her dad leave, She did not want to be in the middle of that whole catastrophe. Anna looks at her mom and says "hey I was thinking of going to Ashley's after school if that's OK." Her mom more or less looked surprised at the fact that her and Ashley were talking again. "Sure if that's what you wanna do" her mom says. "I think so" Anna replied back. Today was the day that Anna was allowed to take the car to school since it was a half day so she grabs the keys and heads out the door. 

As she pulls into the student parking lot she sees Jenny in her car crying. Anna thinks to herself don't partake in whatever is going on over there. Anna parks the car and gets out and starts to head over to her other group of friends she had been making when she hears from a far off distance "Anna wait! I need to talk to you!" Pretending to not hear her Anna heads inside to get her locker. All of the sudden she looks behind her and there is Jenny all flustered. Anna stops and Jenny crashes into her. As they both fall to the ground Jenny says "I've missed you and I have big news to tell you!" Anna had the look of complete dumbfoundedness on her face. "Why would she want to tell me anything" she thinks to herself. "OMG!" she says, "I just found out that David likes you!" "Well that's odd Anna" says. Anna was always trying to set him up with other people to hide the fact that she liked him too. "Wait" Anna says "Isn't he still in a relationship with another girl!" Jenny says "YES! But he told me on accident that he was thinking about you a lot lately." Flattered Anna didn't know what to say when she saw him in class so she figured she would just wing it. "Wait" Anna says, "weren't you just balling your eyes out in your car?" "Oh yeah" Jenny says, I was just dumped by Lincoln, he didn't really say why so I was so upset but when I saw you I just became so excited about the David thing so I had to tell you." "What the hell, you were dating Lincoln? Have we not been talking for that long. "Well it has been about 2 months" Jenny says. As she continues with her story Anna goes off in her thoughts about Lincoln and why he would dump Jenny. And why she was even dating him in the first place. Then Anna remembered that no one believed her when she said what Lincoln had done to her. This made her mad, mad that no one believed her still and mad that he would try and date one of her friends. "That's it" Anna says "I'm going over there to deal with him after school." Jenny says "It isn't really that big of a deal I guess he was a jerk to me, kept saying he was trying to make you jealous but you never noticed.

Anna and Jenny finally finish talking and both end up late to their first class, but none of that mattered at this point. Anna sat in her chair tapping her pencil, foot and finger on the desk wanting for this day to be over, She had some stuff she needed to deal with. As soon as the clock hit noon and school was over Anna grabbed all of her stuff and started heading over to Ashley's house. She knew Lincoln would be there. As she pulled up to their house she was filled with rage, she knocks on the door and Lincoln answers it. Anna stood there frozen. She had these things she had planned out to say to him but as soon as she saw him her speech stuttered and didn't make sense. He just looked at her and then grabs her and kisses her. Anna pushes him away and says "I can't believe you did that and dated Jenny just to get back at me. The worst part is I was unintentionally falling for you. All part of you master plan right" He walks away from her and says "you aren't wrong. I've liked you ever since I laid eyes on you. My actions just came off wrong." More angry Anna walks toward him and say you mean you assaulting me came off wrong? Wow you are something special aren't you. I can't keep doing this with you! You ruined everything the moment you laid hands on me." He turns toward Anna and gets really close to her and says "you didn't push me away did you?" Anna pushes him away and says "there I pushed you away!" and continued with "you can't keep doing this to me! You cannot play this game with me anymore. You are in my head and you need to get out!" Lincoln grabs her and kisses her again, but no matter how hard she fought Anna could not control her emotions anymore she gave into him completely. In the back of her mind she could see her flash before her eyes. All the hurt that she was dealing with and how this wasn't making it better. As soon as she was able to get her thoughts back on track and make sense of what was happening she used all of her might to push him away. Lincoln was starting to get upset with Anna and punches a wall. Anna grabs all of her stuff and says "you need to think about what you are doing and how this is making me feel and then leaves.

©Amanda Catherine

Free (A Poem)

I dream of you

but when I wake my

broken heart 

will mend. 

Those feelings I had

Have come and gone.

I'm happy.

I'm free of you,

or at least the

idea of what

I wanted you to be. 

©Amanda Catherine

Silhouette (Lyrics/Poem)

We will never

forget those teenage 

years where we 

caused chaos and

commotion. 

The world was 

our playground

and we were

going to dance 

in the sand. 

Late nights turn 

into ones we 

will never forget 

but will always

want to repeat. 

We will drive

and chase the sun 

while we hold hands 

until the sun 

comes up.

I can still see

your silhouette

clear as day. 

This is the story

of me and you. 

Never alone

because you 

were always right 

beside me. 

My mind will 

always be wrapped 

up in thoughts of you. 

Every time you look 

at me I get lost 

in the thoughts of you.

Your eyes like 

the blue of the 

sapphire

and your hair 

black as your

fingernail polish. 

This is the story

of me and you. 

Never alone

because you 

were always right 

beside me. 

My mind will 

always be wrapped 

up in thoughts of you. 

Looking back now

these are the nights 

my mind still gets 

wrapped up in. 

You left your

mark on me 

that I will never forget.

Please come

back to me. 

©Amanda Catherine

Smile (A Poem)

Staring at you

across the bar.

You mess with 

your drink.

You check the time,

tapping the bar

impatiently.

You look behind you.

The one you

are looking for 

is nowhere 

to be found.

Your eyes pass
over me.
You do a double take,
 look at me
 and smile.

I pretend to not notice

as I smile back.

My hand pushes

my hair behind my ear

as I giggle

and look back up at you.

©Amanda Catherine

The Girl Of Mystery (A Poem)

I look at you,

you look at me. 

I had a feeling 

it was meant to be. 

You walk my way

you make me blush.

Could this be lust?

You come closer

and walk right past.

You were looking

at the girl of my past.

The girl who

dreams of lust,

the girl of which 

loving herself 

wasn't a must. 

I look behind me

as you leave 

with the girl of mystery. 

©Amanda Catherine

Lingering Love (A Poem)

Love like a summers day

Could never be washed away.

My thoughts of you still linger

With every touch

Oh how I loved you so much.

I wish we could meet again

to wipe away our fears and

let love take control

of our fears.

©Amanda Catherine

Where Friendship Goes Wrong: A True Story: The Family Vaca

Over Spring Break Anna finds herself  out of town visiting family. This not one her most favorite things to do, since she is the misfit of the family but it always makes things interesting. Her family has made arrangements to stay in the family trailer for the weekend. "Here's to getting eaten by mosquitoes" Anna thinks to herself, since the trailer is next to a lake. She packed up her suitcase for another move and gets in her grandparents' car. As they start to head out Anna gets a text from Remy and it reads "I'll see you later." Anna just stares at her phone in stunned silence. "Wait what?" She says, apparently her cousins had invited him to the lake since they are best friends with him. "Aw crap" Anna says to herself. "How in the heck is this going to work?" 

As they pull up to the trailer Anna looks around and it doesn't look like anyone else had arrived yet. Which is normal, her family is always late to everything. She hops out of her grandparents' car and looks around, she hasn't  been here in a while. She asks her grandma if the cute little coffee was still up the way as she points in the wrong direction. Her grandma grabs her arm and says "Yes" as she moves her arm in the right direction. "I'm going to go there in a little bit then once I get all my stuff out of the car" Anna says. Wanting to get away from there before the hoard arrives she rushes and grabs her stuff out of the car and quickly puts it inside. 

As she starts to head to the coffee shop she sees a red van heading in her direction. "Can I hide in a bush" she thinks to herself. She looks around and there are no bushes in sight. The van pulls up next to her and the passenger side window rolls down. "Well you look the same, still chunky" her aunt says. "I had hope you would loose some weight but there you are" she continues. "What do you want" Anna says. "Oh the boys want to hang out with you" she says as her two cousins and Remy pop out of the van. They drive off and Anna says "well I was going up the street to get a coffee, you guys wanna come with me? Everyone agreed and they all continued walking. "Well this couldn't get anymore awkward" Anna thinks as she tries to make small talk with them. "Boys are so complicated" Anna thinks to herself. 

They finally find their way to and from the coffee shop and are back at the trailer. It was just Anna a and Remy sitting outside by the water. To Anna's surprise they are actually having a decent conversation, Not about what had happened with them over text, but about music, life goals, and how crazy her family is. "This is nice" Anna says "I was expecting things to be awkward." "Well there is still time for that" Remy says. "Oh yeah, things always get weird" Anna says.

 It  starts to get later in the night and everyone has passed out on their make shift beds but Anna and Remy are still up. They sat next to each other in a corner in the darkness with only their phones for light. The moment is perfect, Anna wishes that it never ends. Each of them have different stories but they were all so similar. Over text it is hard to realize that people are people but in the middle of nowhere in the dark you can really get to know someone for them and not what we perceive them to be. Anna is starting to get really attached to him. He is the only friend she has that doesn't have clouded judgments of her or her past. She knew that this was going to end bad, but her emotions started to cloud over her again. 

©Amanda Catherine

When I light this candle (A Poem)

I light a candle for you

for all the daydreams and emotions

I have of looking in your eyes

and you looking into mine.

This love could be everything but untrue.

Even though we’ve been together so long,

our love it seems oh so new.

This candle I have, is for

all the dreams I keep of you.

Kissing in the rain

is all I want to do.

Our hearts are full of the love we have,

for each other.

How could you not be

the one for me?

The flame of this candle is us,

for all the slow dances we shared together

upon the dark mid-night sky.

As you get on one knee

as my heart starts pounding,

as my heart starts racing,

You say those four words.

“Will you marry me?”

Stuttering, I could only say,

“I love you”

I hold this candle as

I walk down the aisle,

realizing there is nothing else

I want to do.

I accept this ring

and give my hand-written vow

of the love that I have,

for only you.

I blow out this candle

knowing our love will grow,

with every drip of wax,

that falls.

©Amanda Catherine 

Ecstasy (A Poem)

Don’t wake me

I’m dreaming of your face

lost in the wonder

I’ll never trace.

Don’t wake me

I’m living my dreams,

Dreams where it’s just you and me

where love is our only form of ecstasy.

Don’t wake me

I’m flying high

soaring above the skyline.

Alone with my thoughts,

that always remember you.

©Amanda Catherine

Rose Petals (A Poem)

Look at all the rose petals on the ground.

They fall from broken hearts,

that couldn't hold on any longer.

A reflection of a shooting star passes over

that makes far hope grow near,

a hope of romance and compassion

that makes each petal part of one rose,

that all can hold near.

It may reflect the past

and what it could have been,

but you know that it is better this way.

Lost to love

and completing a simple rose

that you can surrender your everything to.

©Amanda Catherine

Dancing in the rain (updated)

Splashing in the puddles
we dance in the rain.
Jumping and laughing
it feels like we could
do this all day.

Dancing reminds us
of how happy life can be.
Flashes of lightning
glimmer from the sky
and we dance
we dance to forget.
To forget the pain as we
let the rain wash it away.

We splash
with flowers in our hair
a reminder of the
beauty that is held within us.
We dance.

©Amanda Catherine

Where Friendship Goes Wrong: A True Story: Pretend Romance

Anna stood in stunned silence, she couldn't believe that she actually did what she did. She looked at the 2 boys on the floor and looked up at her friends. Her only thoughts were "I hope they are ok" and "I am going to be in so much trouble for this." She starts to help the 2 guys up but they want nothing to do with her, can't say she blames them. As they both got up off the floor they both looked fine, just a few bruises, but those would eventually heal. They both look at Anna and call her a crazy bitch as the walk away. Anna turns to her friends and walks directly past them. There faces said all that they needed to know. Anna continues walking and thinking to herself about how much she needed to change but how she had no clue how. She figured one way to change would be to actually go to class so she goes and grabs her school books from her locker. On her way to class she bumps into David, they guy that was helping her in math that she also has a secret crush on. She smiles at him and continues walking. As she walks past him he grabs her and pulls her back to him. He looks her directly in the eye and says "Are you ok'? She send off a little chuckle and says "When have I ever been ok?" He tries to stop her as she attempts to leave again and says "I'm here." 

She knew that a lot of people were always there to talk to but the problem was how much judgement came from her talking to them. She already had enough problems with liking herself much less adding everyone else's judgment to the mix. But for some odd reason she trusted David. She looked at him and said "Can I talk to you on the way home from school?" She knew he would shed some light on her whole situation that she needed to see. He didn't say anything back all he did was nod his head. For some reason that made Anna smile. As Anna walks away from David she bumps into Ashton. Apparently he was really upset about the thing that happened earlier. He grabs Anna and pulls her into the stairwell. She leans up against the railing and says "ok what is it?" Ashton looks at her and says "I can no longer pretend to be interested in you. Jenny asked me to in hopes of making you feel better but you are way to crazy and I no longer want to apart of it. We are through." He leaves and Anna is still in the stairwell. She had no clue what to do. Does she cry? Does she feel relieved? Or does she.... and then it hit her. Jenny made him act interested in her because she felt nobody was or ever would be. That was the most messed up thing anyone has ever done, besides the whole thing with Lincoln. She decides the leave the stairwell and go to class. She wasn't to upset about the whole thing because there was apparently nothing there. She couldn't wait to get on the bus and tell David all about it. 

©Amanda Catherine

The Things About Life I Wish People Would Have Told Me

Within life, I am not the best, I have failed at many things that I have tried which makes me never want to do anything. This has slowly formed into one of my worst problems but because of this I have learned a lot, some of it I wish people had told me sooner.

1. Most people don't know what they are doing either
2. Don't let people get you down.
3. Someone will be better than you at somethings and you will be better then them at somethings.
4. Don't fret the little things.
5. Eat well and exercise.
6. If someone makes fun of you for doing something they are probably jealous of you.
7. Life is to short to be around people that make you cry.
8. It is okay to express your opinion.
9. You will make mistakes and some of them will be huge, that is okay.
10. It's not where you have been, its who your with.
11. If you don't feel comfortable doing something you probably should't do it.
12. Don't live in the past. You can't move forward that way.
13. The genre of music you grow up with will always be better than every other generation.
14. There is always something new to learn no matter how old you are.
15. You will not be good at everything.
16. Some of your best friends will end up being enemies.
17. If you love doing something don't let other people think that you are bad at it and should no longer do it.
18. You are awesome.
19. Don't run away from something that is amazing.
20. You will have huge aspirations as a high school graduate and you will not complete most of them
21. Do well in school, it may not seem like a big deal, but it is.
22. Be who you are.
23. Having imperfections is more interesting then being perfect all the time.
24. Money isn't everything.
25, It's never to late to pursue what you love

Where Friendship Goes Wrong: A True Story: Pregnancy Scares!

As Anna is left in front of the classroom door stunned from what just happened. She see's a very panicked Jenny running up to her. Looking at Ashton she says "well this can't be good. I'm gonna have to talk to you later OK? When Ashton sees Jenny's face he hugs Anna and leaves. Anna looked at Jenny and she was crying. When Anna asks Jenny what happened she started crying more. The only thing she could mutter out was "I'm late." Anna grabs Jenny's arm and drags her into the bathroom. "What to you mean you're late?" Jenny looks at herself in the mirror and punches the glass. "I'm so ashamed of myself, why did I trust him?" Her hand know bleeding from the shards of glass, Anna grabs a huge wad of paper towels to stop the bleeding. "It's not your fault", Anna says. "Don't blame yourself," Jenny falls to the bathroom floor and puts her head on her knees. Anna says "Do you want to ditch first period and walk to the grocery store to get a pregnancy test. I have some money to help you buy one." Jenny nods her head and they decide to leave after everyone was already in class so no one could see her crying. While leaving the school they get stopped by the adviser that got Anna suspended. "It's like this guy is out to get me" Anna says. "Where are you going, shouldn't you be in class" he says. "Well we have an emergency" Anna explains. "More of an emergency than getting an education" he says starting to get mad. "Well yeah otherwise why would we be leaving" Anna says. She looks back and Jenny is clinching her stomach. Anna starts to get mad. She knew she wasn't supposed to leave campus but somethings are worth leaving over. In a very irritated voice she says "we are leaving, go ahead and call my mom. I will erase the message when I get home." She grabs Jenny's hand and pushes past him. As they left they could hear hi yelling "you get back here young ladies." They didn't care, They were just happy that they made it out of the school. 

While they are walking to the grocery store Anna asks Jenny to tell her what happened. Jenny sighs and starts to explain everything. "I didn't ever want to do it, it's like he made me or something, I mean I wanted to do it right since I did it...right?" Anna grabs her hand and says "you never have to do anything you don't want to. Honestly he is a prick if he made you. Don't feel bad. If you don't mine me asking who was it?" Kicking a rock up the path Jenny says you aren't going to like the answer. Anna reluctantly says "well my views on most of the guys we hang out with are crap so try me." "Promise not to be mad" Jenny says. Answering honestly Anna says "well no, but I won't judge you for it." As Jenny starts to reply she gets interrupted by her phone ringing, it was Wyatt wondering what was going on. Jenny makes up an excuse to get rid of him. She didn't want to deal with him at the moment. About 5 minutes go by and she hangs up with him, Anna says "it was Wyatt wasn't it? Jenny nods her head and starts crying all over again. "Yes" she says. 

Once they get to the grocery store Anna and Jenny head to the isle with all the pregnancy tests, which ironically is where all the condoms are. They head to the register to buy it while combining all their money. When they make it to the front of the line the girl at the register gave them a look of disgust as she says "OK which one of you is it? I wanna guess." "Well I think it's pretty obvious" Anna says, "she's crying and that comment made it worst. Keep your opinions to yourself." They get the test and head to the store bathroom. Anna hands her the test as Jenny thanks her for standing up for her in the meanest way possible. They have a laugh and Jenny heads into the stall. Anna sits on the other side of the stall on the floor and says "remember no matter what happens, we're friends OK." Jenny says "2 minutes....2 minutes till my life is decided for me. I don't know how I'm gonna handle this." They sit on the bathroom floor on opposite sides of the door and wait. Two minutes goes by and Anna says "if you can't look at it I will look at it for you. Jenny slides it under the door. "Don't tell me unless it's good news" she says. Anna closes her eyes and takes a deep breath and opens one eye to peek at it. "It's negative.... It's negative!!!!" Anna exclaims, getting up off the floor. "I mean you should still go to the doctor but it's negative." Jenny opens and slams the stall door. "Really! I'm so happy!" she says. 

As they start walking back to school Anna tells Jenny that she has to tell her the rest of what happened with her and Wyatt. She starts to explain and apparently Wyatt was sick of getting made fun of for being a virgin, so he gave her and ultimatum. Either you have sex with me or we are through so I can go find someone who will. "The rest is pretty obvious from there" she says. Anna attempting to give relationship advice says "I think it might be time for you to break up with him. I know it's hard, but do you want a relationship that makes you feel bad?" Jenny shakes her head no and pulls out her cell phone and calls Wyatt since it was between 1st and 2nd period now. Once Jenny explains everything that happened to her to him she tells him that she wants to break up. Wyatt didn't take it well. They got into a screaming fight over the phone, that continued once Jenny and Anna made it back to school. In the end they did break up. Anna gets back inside school and looks around. She sees Ashton and that was the greatest sight she had seen all day. 

To Be Continued... <3 

©Amanda Catherine

Where Friendship Goes Wrong: A True Story: Relationship Struggles

Anna and Ashton walk home in complete silence. She isn't sure if this is a good or bad sign. It's a lot for one person to find out all in one night. As Anna reluctantly opens up her mouth to say something he also starts to say something. Not wanting to be rude and pushy Anna lets him finish talking. He says that he doesn't know if he is the right person for her with all of her drama. To be honest Anna knew that this was coming, this is why she was to afraid to say anything. They both stop to cross the street and she grabs his shoulder and says "I understand, believe me. You don't have to walk me home. This is my street anyway, how about you go home and take sometime to think about everything. It's a lot to take on. With how crazy my life is I often times it wasn't me living this life. Someone stronger than me should be in my shoes." He refuses to let her walk the rest of the way home alone and the silence continues. Until he speaks, "Why are you afraid of me? This really confuses me. I haven't done anything to you to ever make you feel scared." As they approach her door she says "it's not you, it's the fact that every guy in my life has hurt me, Lincoln, Wyatt, my dad and many others. I just don't want to get hurt again." He promises not to hurt her, but at this point these promises are just words. Words can to easily broken. "I'll talk to you at school tomorrow" she whispers as she heads inside her house. She shuts the door on him because she was about to burst into tears and she didn't want him to see her like that, so broken and lost.

As she stumbles downstairs to her room trying to be quiet she misses a step and tumbles down the rest of the way. "Dammit" she says as she is getting up. "I always count wrong. It's 7 not 6 steps." She gets to her room and throws all of her stuff on her bed. It didn't matter her room was always a mess anyways. She pulls out her phone from her pocket and flips it open to text Ashton. She wanted to make sure that he got home safe. As she starts hitting all the numbers to get to all the letters she gets a text from Jenny. Anna rolls her eyes and opens it. It says, "sorry but this isn't over. He will be mine." Anna types back the only thing she could think of that was clever enough for this situation, "lol". Even though she actually really was worried about everything. She finishes texting Ashton and starts getting ready for bed. 

She figures that this was the best time to write so she pulls out scrap paper to start and new poem. She starts to write the only thing that she has down is "I'm sorry". Wanting to continue she taps her pen and brushes her hair behind her ear. She could still feel where Ashton did the same. She puts on her headphones and tries to ignore the world. She finally has one more line. "I hurt you and I can't take it back." She scribbles below it,"but sometimes this is just the way it has to be." This was really how she was feeling. 

"Anna wake up!!!" she hears. She had fallen asleep on top of her sloppy hand written poem. She grabs her back pack and guitar bag and heads upstairs to meet her mom. She didn't feel like actually getting ready this morning. She looks at her phone to see if Ashton texted her back and nothing. Just another text from Jenny. As she gets to school Anna regrets not actually doing her hair or make up or anything. Jenny looked really cute and that made her confidence drop way low. She spots Ashton across the hall but didn't go say anything to him figuring this is how it was going to be from now on. She looks up after looking through her backpack trying to find her homework and Ashton was right there. She says "don't worry, I get it, I'll keep my distance." He takes one more step towards her and brushes the hair behind her ear and kissed her. "Now why couldn't you have been my first kiss" she says as he smiles at her.

 Could this actually be something real? 

©Amanda Catherine