Banned Book Essay - Burned By Ellen Hopkins

Banned Book Essay – Burned by Ellen Hopkins

            There are many reasons a book might get banned. Often, none are from a valid cause of concern but more of a personal opinion about a book. Some of these will include LGBTQ issues, violence, and sexual themes within the story. What is interesting about banned books is that they are often on topics where people need to read them more because people are usually looking for acceptance that they cannot find in the real world. Author Ellen Hopkins has a wide variety of books on mental health, addiction, family issues, religion, and so much more. Many of her books are on the verge of being banned in multiple states, making them more of a must-read. The stylized verse in the book “Burned” offers a look into the life of a young girl named Pattyn, who is sent to live with her aunt in Nevada because she doesn’t fit her family's religious ideals. While she is away from home, she finds acceptance and love in not only herself but others. While this book is banned in Idaho because of its views on the Mormon community, many Mormons who have read it have enjoyed it. It has still been banned from libraries and stores. With it still being well-liked, one must wonder what in particular has made it the topic of controversy and bans.

            When Ellen Hopkins was asked about her books being banned in the ACLU article called Here’s What You Lose When You Ban Books, Hopkins herself stated, “People trying to protect children and enforce parental rights more often don’t have children rather than having a “well-funded political drive” to achieve more equal rights. Further, the authors explain that the books are usually written by or have characters representing the LGBTQIA” (This is a paraphrase; Hopkins). As the article progresses, she makes the perfect statement of empathy for the ones who read her books, saying “that her goals were always to have a more comprehensive view when most people typically have a narrow-minded view. This will allow positive or negative outcomes one will face. This shows people they have a choice and how to make a more informed decision” (This is a paraphrase; Hopkins). 

            When books are banned, the voices they are helping are taken away, leaving those who need them without an outlet to turn to. Amid all the negativity from placing a book under controversy or banning a book, we must look at the positives. There are many quotes from unknown readers showcasing her book's importance by stating, “Crank saved my life, opened my eyes to the world I was exposing myself to and rapidly getting drowned in. And then, two years later, it did the very same for my little brother. . . Thank you, Ellen, you've touched our lives forever” (Hopkins). Though this quote is about one of her other books, the effect her books have had on people is still the same: they open people to a level of understanding and hope that they have not seen before.  

            Even when opening the first page of “Burned,” anyone struggling with Hopkins's words feels accepted and understood. The first stanza has a realistic view of life and growing up; in her words, she expresses the characters' frustration with living with their parents and not having the freedom they desire. Her writing promotes a sense of growing up and all the small details that come with it. Feeling frustrated and alone is a common theme in Hopkins's writing, which is why it appeals to many people. Her ability to talk about things seen as complex subjects and make them a part of everyone is a rare gift, but this often makes those books easier to ban and more accessible to have issues with.

            As recently as February 2024, Hopkins's “Tricks” was banned again in Buncombe County, North Carolina, joining five other books, including “Burned.” Many of the parents were venting their frustrations, saying the “Crank” is “filth in poetic form,” with other parents going further and saying that her writing exposes young adults to unhealthy sexual relationships. Much of Ellen Hopkins's writing focuses on the realism of life and how it doesn’t work out perfectly for everyone. Many of her books are personal, real-life journeys of Ellen Hopkin’s family. “Crank” is about her daughter and the real-life struggles with addiction she watched her go through, and “Burned” is about a Mormon girl from whom Hopkins visited and gained inspiration.  

            Banned books will always exist, but the hope is that they will become less common over time. It’s important to look at why a book is under scrutiny or has the potential of being banned. The article Book Banning from The Free Speech Center by Susan Webb has a very sound take, stating that fear might be the biggest instigator in book banning by further citing how “book banning is becoming a very known thing in the United States and children’s literature is always the focal point. This is because the people advocating worry that the children reading will be swayed by the contents, which could have potentially dangerous consequences” (This is a paraphrase; Webb). Books on controversial topics should be welcomed and not be feared. People should be more upfront about the issues within these banned books, as banning them won’t make those sensitive topics disappear anytime soon.

Citations Page

Black, Mitchell. “Buncombe County Schools Board Bans NYT Bestselling Book; Which One?” The Asheville Citizen-Times, Asheville Citizen-Times, 20 Feb. 2024, www.citizen-times.com/story/news/local/2024/02/20/buncombe-county-board-of-education-bans-nyt-bestselling-book/72662699007/. Accessed 20 Apr. 2024.

Hopkins, Ellen. “Here’s What You Lose When You Ban My Books .” ACLU of South Carolina, 5 Dec. 2023, www.aclusc.org/en/news/heres-what-you-lose-when-you-ban-my-books. Accessed 20 Apr. 2024.

Hopkins, Ellen, and Laura Flanagan. Burned. HighBridge Co., 2009.

Staff, NCAC. “Kids’ Right to Read Project Interview with Ellen Hopkins, Author of The Banned Book Week Manifesto.” National Coalition Against Censorship, 15 Jan. 2016, ncac.org/incident/kids-right-to-read-project-interview-with-ellen-hopkins-author-of-the-banned-book-week manifesto#:~:text=My%20book%20Burned%20had%20been,including%20stores%20and%20libraries%20%E2%80%93%20everywhere. Accessed 20 Apr. 2024.

Suffocating ( A Poem)

 It's been a bit... Let's see if I even remember how to write. 

I'm stuck in nighttime

With you,

Myself. 

What am I supposed

To do? 

No distractions,

A reality I

Must face. 

My life feels

All over the place.

I'm lost inside

My head

That sometimes,

Thinks

I'll be 

Better off 

Dead. 

Sometimes

This world is

To much

To take, 

With my emotions 

All over the place. 

My thoughts

Are full

Of despair. 

I feel like 

I'm drowning,

 suffocating. 

I need to 

Come up

For air. 

©️Amanda Catherine

Envelope (A Poem)

Nighttime is the worst.
All the emotions
Come flooding in
And I feel lost.
Like an envelope
With no address.
I try to distract myself,
But all I can think of
Is what would've been.
Or still could be.
With the light of a match,
I still can't see,
But somehow I can
Think of a way to
Put all the blame
On me.

©️ Amanda Catherine

Rewind (A Poem)

I lay awake,
Thinking of what
To write.
You cross my mind,
Last night
I dreamt of you.
You kissed my forehead
Made me feel
Like everything
Was ok...
Is ok.

Life wasn't terrifying
It was a beautiful
Piece of mystery.
No reason to runaway,
Every reason to hit rewind.

©Amanda Catherine

Some Random Thoughts...

I am going to talk about something that I have never really talked about. You all read my posts and got to know my life, in ways most haven't been able to. I feel like I can open up on here and hopefully not get to much hate.

I've been thinking a lot about death lately, mainly because my grandpa is currently in hospice. It's amazing how fast life can go and how nothing ever really lasts forever.

Currently I have been battling with chronic depression and anxiety. When I was sexually assaulted my parents didn't do to much for me help wise... so the depression just gradually got worse and worse. Once I was an adult I was to embarrassed to admit to myself much less others that I was battling depression. I wanted to be as strong as everyone thought I was, even though I did not feel strong myself.


I started running away from my problems and acting like I was totally fine, even though deep down I wasn't and I am not sure I ever really was. I pushed everyone away who was close to me because it was to much to handle. If you notice in my poetry it is always about running, leaving or being alone, that is because that is seriously how I felt. I felt like I had to do or be those things. All my poetry is about life experiences, poetry became the one outlet that I could hold on and still hold on to. I have no other way to express my true feelings besides writing, so thank you guys for reading and hopefully relating to them.

I wish I was different a lot. I have never been comfortable in my own skin. When I was younger I was the weird one that everyone made fun of, until I started doing stupid things just to fit in. It worked, until I lost sight of who I really was. By the time I realized this I was to far gone and tangled in a web of high school drama with everything else I have talked about.

I don't really know why I wrote this, but maybe you all will have more of an insight about who I am and why my poetry and writings are sometimes so sad.

<3
Amanda

Real (A Poem)

I try so hard to be me
but the real me has yet
to even be found.
I walk around like
I know what I am doing
but the reality is
I have no idea.
I just hope no one notices

Notices that I am an insecure,
hopeless, pessimistic that
is just trying to
get by in the world.
With the world at
my fingertips,
turning away at
opportunities
and chances
because that is
what I think I deserve.

©Amanda Catherine 

I Have A Secret...

I don't really even know why I am writing this but I figured some of you may want to know where I have been the last few months. It's not that I didn't want to write or not even that I didn't have ideas of what to write about. It's the fact of I no longer knew who I was writing to. When I first started blogging no one ever read my posts and then I started writing about my life and my posts started getting way more views than I had ever expected. But then me writing about my past events honestly made me so depressed I had no idea what to even do anymore. I wanted to write but I didn't want to be sad about it. I was trying to express myself and my life to others to make everyone reading not feel so alone but in return I had never felt more alone. I had to transport myself to those feelings I was trying so hard to avoid to get to raw essence of the situation I was trying to describe. In the end I had to decide whether or not I wanted to continue with the series. I tried, but they never turned out that good. No one read them and then I was just writing for what? My whole idea of why I was writing was completely gone, So I just stopped. 

I decided that what I needed to do was to get my life back on track, not that it really ever had a track to begin with, but it was worth a shot. The only problem was that my idea of getting my life back on track is working a lot. So much that I lost the idea of who I was trying to become. I want my life to have a meaning but honestly right know it has no meaning what so ever. People used to write me over my email and tell me that my poetry and my stories helped them get through rough times, or that I will be a best seller. My thought was a best seller of what? I don't know what I am doing. I will never be as good as them. But then I thought I was as good as them at one point, I just have to find that part inside of me that wanted to write, that wanted to have a purpose.

After I took a small break I started trying to write my life story again but I started thinking that no one will ever want to read what I have to say or what really happened to me. So I started writing things about my life that were not true. I was lying to all of you. I would write what happened and then make it 10 times worse than what it was in hopes that people would gain an interest again. That is never what I wanted to do, but more importantly that never even worked. After I did this I never wanted to write again until I could be truthful, so this is me being truthful. I was gone because I have no idea what I doing, I lied and I was writing for all the wrong reasons. I will start writing again but it is going to be really different. Mainly because I need to write for me. 

©Amanda Catherine

Where Friendship Goes Wrong: A True Story: Assaulted... Again

As Anna and Lincoln start arguing in the middle of his living room his family took notice and was trying to figure out what was going on with them. Anna could care less, because she already wasn't to fond of their mom because of their past experiences. As the argument between them became more heated Anna started grabbing all her stuff and heading for the door again. It was starting to feel like she was never going to leave this house. Anna makes it outside and runs to her car before Lincoln can catch her and get in turns on the car and speeds off. All she knew was that she couldn't face him and she couldn't face his family judging her for all her mistakes. She starts driving not sure where to go. Her parents think that she is at Ashley and Lincoln's for dinner so she could go where ever her heart desired. She ended up at the park that was about a half a mile away from where Ashley and Lincoln's house is. This is where she came to do her deepest thinking. 

While she sat in her favorite swing she put her headphones in trying to tone out the whole world around her. It was getting dark but none of that mattered, she needed to cool off. Her phone kept ringing and it was always Ashley, Anna kept ignoring it. She started getting really freaked out when she kept getting phone calls from Lincoln only a few minutes apart from each other. Her voicemail box kept getting fuller and fuller until all the phone calls just stopped. She pulls out her phone and starts going through it, but she didn't dare listen to those voicemail's. It was at this point that she wished she had unlimited texting from the overwhelming amount of them she was getting. She finally decides to at least call Ashley back and let her know she was OK. As the phone starts ringing she feels a grab on her shoulder. Anna turns around and closes her phone in shock as soon as she saw who it was. "How is it going" he says. Anna stands there in silence. "David, what are you doing here, I thought I was the only one ever out this late." "Well I live across the street and when I saw you speed down I thought I would come check on you." Anna smiles and says "that is very sweet but believe me you do not want to know what is going on with me, you will find out how crazy I really am. And not in the good way." "We all have our pasts" he says. Well in that case Anna mumbles as she starts to break down and tell him everything that had just happened. 

Anna finishes up telling him everything she sees a shadow from someone heading toward them. As it starts to get closer Anna could tell that it was Lincoln. Anna tells David that is was probably best that he left, but he refused to leave. She kept insisting because she knew how bad it may get, But he still refused. Anna looks at David and says "you wanna get outta here? I don't know a lot but I know I don't wanna be here." They both come to an agreement to leave and they ended up at a park further away. As they get to the park Anna looks at her phone and all that was on there was a text fro Lincoln calling her a bitch and a coward for running away from the confrontation. But as Anna was away from Lincoln they more she realized how out of control everything had got. She didn't want to be the girl who was to afraid to face reality and her reality was that she chose was to mess around with her assaulter because at least he liked her. This had to turn into a thing of the past for her. Like a bad memory no one wants to remember.

A few weeks go by and Anna had made no contact with Lincoln and she was spending more time on her school work, which is something she had never done. It turned into a nice distraction for her. She was also spending more and more time with David. He was a breath of fresh air to be around because not only did he not judge her for her past mistakes but he helped her not make new ones. All was going well until Lincoln stopped by the school to see Ashley. While Anna was walking out of school putting her books back in her book bag she looks up and there he is standing beneath a tree, right next to her car. Not giving a single care Anna walks up to her car and starts putting her stuff in it to leave. Lincoln slowly begins to walk toward her hoping that she wouldn't notice, but it is because of him that she noticed everything it seemed like. She doesn't even look at him and says and "you should stop being such a creeper, it's not cool." He says fine and comes up to her and catches her off guard as she is walking and shoves her up against the car and starts touching her all over while screaming "I guess this is what you like, You're such a whore!" Anna struggles to get away as he starts trying to take off her clothes but it wasn't working. She ends up being in a position to knee him in the groin and takes advantage of it. Once she knees him in the groin she pushes him over to have more time to get away. She gets in her car and locks the door and climbs to the front seat, Lincoln is still on the floor and Anna drives away never looking back.

©Amanda Catherine

  

Where Friendship Goes Wrong: A True Story: A New Day

As the sun starts to rise Anna is laying in her bed with her eyes wide open. Her thoughts had successfully kept her up all night. She didn't know whether to be excited about going to school and seeing everyone or not. Her first instinct was no, but maybe today was different, a new day of sorts. She disables her alarm before it goes off and heads to the bathroom to start getting ready. She looks at herself in the mirror and all she can think about is how messed up she is becoming. And is it normal to feel this way. She slaps on some foundation and eye shadow and runs upstairs after she hears her dad leave, She did not want to be in the middle of that whole catastrophe. Anna looks at her mom and says "hey I was thinking of going to Ashley's after school if that's OK." Her mom more or less looked surprised at the fact that her and Ashley were talking again. "Sure if that's what you wanna do" her mom says. "I think so" Anna replied back. Today was the day that Anna was allowed to take the car to school since it was a half day so she grabs the keys and heads out the door. 

As she pulls into the student parking lot she sees Jenny in her car crying. Anna thinks to herself don't partake in whatever is going on over there. Anna parks the car and gets out and starts to head over to her other group of friends she had been making when she hears from a far off distance "Anna wait! I need to talk to you!" Pretending to not hear her Anna heads inside to get her locker. All of the sudden she looks behind her and there is Jenny all flustered. Anna stops and Jenny crashes into her. As they both fall to the ground Jenny says "I've missed you and I have big news to tell you!" Anna had the look of complete dumbfoundedness on her face. "Why would she want to tell me anything" she thinks to herself. "OMG!" she says, "I just found out that David likes you!" "Well that's odd Anna" says. Anna was always trying to set him up with other people to hide the fact that she liked him too. "Wait" Anna says "Isn't he still in a relationship with another girl!" Jenny says "YES! But he told me on accident that he was thinking about you a lot lately." Flattered Anna didn't know what to say when she saw him in class so she figured she would just wing it. "Wait" Anna says, "weren't you just balling your eyes out in your car?" "Oh yeah" Jenny says, I was just dumped by Lincoln, he didn't really say why so I was so upset but when I saw you I just became so excited about the David thing so I had to tell you." "What the hell, you were dating Lincoln? Have we not been talking for that long. "Well it has been about 2 months" Jenny says. As she continues with her story Anna goes off in her thoughts about Lincoln and why he would dump Jenny. And why she was even dating him in the first place. Then Anna remembered that no one believed her when she said what Lincoln had done to her. This made her mad, mad that no one believed her still and mad that he would try and date one of her friends. "That's it" Anna says "I'm going over there to deal with him after school." Jenny says "It isn't really that big of a deal I guess he was a jerk to me, kept saying he was trying to make you jealous but you never noticed.

Anna and Jenny finally finish talking and both end up late to their first class, but none of that mattered at this point. Anna sat in her chair tapping her pencil, foot and finger on the desk wanting for this day to be over, She had some stuff she needed to deal with. As soon as the clock hit noon and school was over Anna grabbed all of her stuff and started heading over to Ashley's house. She knew Lincoln would be there. As she pulled up to their house she was filled with rage, she knocks on the door and Lincoln answers it. Anna stood there frozen. She had these things she had planned out to say to him but as soon as she saw him her speech stuttered and didn't make sense. He just looked at her and then grabs her and kisses her. Anna pushes him away and says "I can't believe you did that and dated Jenny just to get back at me. The worst part is I was unintentionally falling for you. All part of you master plan right" He walks away from her and says "you aren't wrong. I've liked you ever since I laid eyes on you. My actions just came off wrong." More angry Anna walks toward him and say you mean you assaulting me came off wrong? Wow you are something special aren't you. I can't keep doing this with you! You ruined everything the moment you laid hands on me." He turns toward Anna and gets really close to her and says "you didn't push me away did you?" Anna pushes him away and says "there I pushed you away!" and continued with "you can't keep doing this to me! You cannot play this game with me anymore. You are in my head and you need to get out!" Lincoln grabs her and kisses her again, but no matter how hard she fought Anna could not control her emotions anymore she gave into him completely. In the back of her mind she could see her flash before her eyes. All the hurt that she was dealing with and how this wasn't making it better. As soon as she was able to get her thoughts back on track and make sense of what was happening she used all of her might to push him away. Lincoln was starting to get upset with Anna and punches a wall. Anna grabs all of her stuff and says "you need to think about what you are doing and how this is making me feel and then leaves.

©Amanda Catherine

High School (A Poem)

High school, 

Where dreams

Get crushed 

Into essays 

And where 

Plans turn 

Into projects.

Nerds sit up front

And underachievers 

Sit in the back. 

Cheerleaders and football players 

rule the school and 

Nerds plan to be 

Their boss's some day.

Everyone is trying

To fit in

And no one wants

To stand out.

A place where

what happens 

behind closed

doors 

no one knows. 

©Amanda Catherine

Where Friendship Goes Wrong: A True Story: Bad Feelings

Tap, tap, tap. Anna sits alone in her room tapping her pen wanting to write about what happened to her lately but her mind was blocked. She hadn't been over to Ashley's since the whole incident with Lincoln. Her mind had been fuzzy ever since then. It was like she was living in a clouded nightmare. The worst part was that she was starting to like Lincoln. She started to believe that this is how boys treat the girls that they like. Anna puts her pen to her paper and then draws a heart and writes Anna + Lincoln in it. She almost barfed at the thought but this was the only guy who had shown interest in her, even though it was bad. "Maybe I am just reading into things to much" she thinks. She thinks back on how they first met and how her sexually assaulted her and how that made her feel. "Maybe I can change him" Anna says to herself as she throws her pen down.

Frustrated with her feelings Anna tries to find something to do to preoccupy her time. She grabs her black nail polish, opens her window and starts painting her nails. With each stroke she makes she became more upset with herself. She hadn't ever dealt with how she felt about what happened to her. Her moms idea of dealing with it was not dealing with it. Whenever she would bring up the idea about her going to therapy her mom would change the subject and her dad had no idea what had even happened to her. Everyone else thought that she had just said that Lincoln did this to her for the attention so she had never felt more alone. After getting lost in her thoughts Anna looks at her nails and expects them to look good. They looked like a disaster. "Hhhmmmm, what's this, a metaphor for my life" she complains as she starts getting the nail polish remover. "To bad I can't wipe away my life like this" she says growing in frustration. She looks at her phone to see if anyone had texted her. She would have even been OK with a stupid chain text but there was nothing. Even though she was upset about no one talking to her, she understood. 

Anna starts thinking again about anything she wanted to write about since her thoughts were the only ones that listened to her. She starts to write some lines and it read "so much pain, it all goes to my head sometimes I wish I were dead. She lets her thoughts take over her and continues with "I'm so lost and so alone. My life is a constant fog. There is nothing to keep me here, no life to call my own." She stops and sits alone in her room in silence. She never thought that she would have felt like this. 

She takes her pen and writes I am alone on her arm and then added a heart with an arrow going through it.

©Amanda Catherine

I have never ever written or talked about this moment to anyone before. I was a lost 17 year old who hadn't learned much about relationships yet. Today marks 10 years to the day that these thoughts happened. I am better than what I was then, not that it was hard to compete with. 
Amanda

Lies (A Poem)

I can see the lies

In your eyes.

You try to hide them

But they are coming alive.

I cannot believe I

Once called you a friend.

I wish those memories

Would get out of my head.

I can hear your lies.

They flow out of

Your mouth

Like a flood.

I try to run from them

But you must see

That it doesn't matter

Because they don't control me.

©Amanda Catherine

Walk Away (A Poem)

Have you ever

walked into a room

and felt like 

everyone was 

staring at you?

I have.

Have you ever 

left somewhere 

because you felt

like everyone was 

talking about you?

I have.

Maybe it is 

insecurities,

or maybe it is

in my own mind. 

But these things 

have happened

to more people 

than one,

that you 

cannot deny. 

I try and 

brush it off

but it's hard you 

see when I know 

that you talked about me. 

If you don't like

me that is ok.

But please don't act 

like we are friends

and then walk away. 

I can sense the 

hate while you 

are around.

My ears are wide 

open and that's 

what you don't see.

I can hear what

you say 

but I'll be the 

first to

walk away. 

©Amanda Catherine

Feelings (A Poem)

I write 

for those 

who feel 

alone, 

who think

that no one

understands.

I write

for all 

who will read.

Who get

emotions

from the 

words that 

pour out from

with in me.

I write because

I can't be the 

only one 

who feels 

this way. 

©Amanda Catherine

Silhouette (Lyrics/Poem)

We will never

forget those teenage 

years where we 

caused chaos and

commotion. 

The world was 

our playground

and we were

going to dance 

in the sand. 

Late nights turn 

into ones we 

will never forget 

but will always

want to repeat. 

We will drive

and chase the sun 

while we hold hands 

until the sun 

comes up.

I can still see

your silhouette

clear as day. 

This is the story

of me and you. 

Never alone

because you 

were always right 

beside me. 

My mind will 

always be wrapped 

up in thoughts of you. 

Every time you look 

at me I get lost 

in the thoughts of you.

Your eyes like 

the blue of the 

sapphire

and your hair 

black as your

fingernail polish. 

This is the story

of me and you. 

Never alone

because you 

were always right 

beside me. 

My mind will 

always be wrapped 

up in thoughts of you. 

Looking back now

these are the nights 

my mind still gets 

wrapped up in. 

You left your

mark on me 

that I will never forget.

Please come

back to me. 

©Amanda Catherine

Normal (A Poem)

I wanted

to be normal. 

But then I 

soon realized

that normal is 

overrated. 

I don't even

know if

I know what 

normal truly is. 

©Amanda Catherine

Mean (A Poem)

You yell 

at me and 

I watch your

every step

as you wind

up to make 

your next move. 

I look 

for an

escape but

there is no 

where to run. 

All I can 

think in my 

head is 

what did I 

do to make 

you turn so

mean,

and more 

importantly 

to take your

anger 

out on me. 

I would say 

I am 

sorry,

but I know 

it won't matter.

My mind blanks 

out as you 

are yelling 

at me telling 

me how 

stupid I am.

Maybe you

are right 

or maybe you

are misdirected. 

©Amanda Catherine

Reality (A Poem)

I hate when

people look

at me 

and only

see what is

on the outside. 

If this is the

case I am 

a talentless

girl with a

mediocre face, 

But in

reality

I am a 

writer, 

free thinker,

poetess .

With talents

that you

will never see.

I have insight,

on things

that matter.

But most 

people 

won't ask me 

because I

am a 

High School misfit

with a degree 

in dropping out. 

©Amanda Catherine

Lies (A Poem)

My mom

always told me

I couldn't be

whatever I 

wanted. 

That I had

to limit 

myself.

Dumb myself

down in

a way.

Now that I

have grown up,

I look back

on this

past advice and

get a sadness 

inside. 

I always thought

I was less.

I still think

that I am less

than everyone.

I am not

mad.

I feel sadness.

Sadness that

so many parents 

tell their kids 

these lies. 

There is

only one thing

to do.

Be amazing

anyways

©Amanda Catherine

Ambitions (A Poem)

I am 

not smart,

or am I?

I was always 

told I 

would never

 amount to anything.

Why do you 

even try? 

It won't help,

they always say.

In the back 

of my mind,

I know I

will amount to more.

All they see

is a girl 

who is lost,

and looking

for meaning,  

But I can 

assure you

I'm only

getting started,

you just wait

and see.

There is

so much more

to me.

©Amanda Catherine