Pretend (A Poem)

You made me feel bad
For something I
Didn't do.
You act like the victim
But are you really?

You are a manipulator
You can't control yourself
You lied,
Made me believe
You were something special
But you aren't.
I had faith in you,
Faith that you could
Be better than the
Look you put on.
I was wrong.

In a way I'm happy
That we no longer talk.
Happy that you
Go caught.
Happy that you
Have to explain yourself.
Happy that I don't
Have to pretend
Because this is
The end.

©Amanda Catherine

Life (A Poem)

We walk through
each day and
continually say
nothings changed.
When in the
back of our minds
we know that
there is so much
more we went
through.
So much more we
want to say.

Feeling frustrated
because everyone
bumps you,
stares at you and
criticizes you till
you feel like you
become less.
Less because
you care.
 Still say
everything is OK,
nothings changed
because it is
easier that way.


©Amanda Catherine

Fear (A Poem)

I don't want
To fear being a
Women
But I do.
I am valued
Less and
Fear more.

I fear walking
streets alone
at night.
I fear allys
That lack light.
I fear men
And their
Constant stares.
I fear the idea
That my body is not
The essence of beauty.
I fear the thought
Of my dreams
Being shot.

I fear that
I fear all of
These things.
I fear that
This is normality.
I look outside
And I crumble inside.
I fear to live
My life with
The thought of
Knowing this
Is how it is
Supposed to be.

©Amanda Catherine

Flowers (A Poem)

Flowers, colorful like a summers day

All worries and cares away.

Bright and beautiful

Like the radiance of the world.

The sun shines down on you

and sometimes rain will fall from the

clouds that gaze upon you.

©Amanda Catherine

Walk Away (A Poem)

Have you ever

walked into a room

and felt like 

everyone was 

staring at you?

I have.

Have you ever 

left somewhere 

because you felt

like everyone was 

talking about you?

I have.

Maybe it is 

insecurities,

or maybe it is

in my own mind. 

But these things 

have happened

to more people 

than one,

that you 

cannot deny. 

I try and 

brush it off

but it's hard you 

see when I know 

that you talked about me. 

If you don't like

me that is ok.

But please don't act 

like we are friends

and then walk away. 

I can sense the 

hate while you 

are around.

My ears are wide 

open and that's 

what you don't see.

I can hear what

you say 

but I'll be the 

first to

walk away. 

©Amanda Catherine

Mean (A Poem)

You yell 

at me and 

I watch your

every step

as you wind

up to make 

your next move. 

I look 

for an

escape but

there is no 

where to run. 

All I can 

think in my 

head is 

what did I 

do to make 

you turn so

mean,

and more 

importantly 

to take your

anger 

out on me. 

I would say 

I am 

sorry,

but I know 

it won't matter.

My mind blanks 

out as you 

are yelling 

at me telling 

me how 

stupid I am.

Maybe you

are right 

or maybe you

are misdirected. 

©Amanda Catherine

Lies (A Poem)

My mom

always told me

I couldn't be

whatever I 

wanted. 

That I had

to limit 

myself.

Dumb myself

down in

a way.

Now that I

have grown up,

I look back

on this

past advice and

get a sadness 

inside. 

I always thought

I was less.

I still think

that I am less

than everyone.

I am not

mad.

I feel sadness.

Sadness that

so many parents 

tell their kids 

these lies. 

There is

only one thing

to do.

Be amazing

anyways

©Amanda Catherine

Nightmare (A Poem)

I am your

minds worst nightmare.

I'll make

you think

about things 

you would rather 

ignore. 

Beauty is

a lie.

Girls put

on make up

for what? 

To impress

those 

judging eyes

that watch

their every

move. 

For men 

being buff is

the way, 

if not you 

must be gay 

because there

is only one

right way. 

Why?

Call me crazy

but I will

question you.

I am your

minds worst

nightmare. 

We are taught

to think the same.

I dare you

to think 

differently.

If you don't

we are just 

playing the 

biggest game 

of follow the

leader. 

©Amanda Catherine

Ambitions (A Poem)

I am 

not smart,

or am I?

I was always 

told I 

would never

 amount to anything.

Why do you 

even try? 

It won't help,

they always say.

In the back 

of my mind,

I know I

will amount to more.

All they see

is a girl 

who is lost,

and looking

for meaning,  

But I can 

assure you

I'm only

getting started,

you just wait

and see.

There is

so much more

to me.

©Amanda Catherine

The Girl Of Mystery (A Poem)

I look at you,

you look at me. 

I had a feeling 

it was meant to be. 

You walk my way

you make me blush.

Could this be lust?

You come closer

and walk right past.

You were looking

at the girl of my past.

The girl who

dreams of lust,

the girl of which 

loving herself 

wasn't a must. 

I look behind me

as you leave 

with the girl of mystery. 

©Amanda Catherine

Haunt my imagination (A Poem)

Silence

Darkness

Solitude.

So many wants,

but yet so many

fears

loneliness

lies.

Tiny lies

that haunt my imagination.

Must not bring myself down,

I can do whatever I can

believe.

Believe in myself,

the rest will follow.

Joy

happiness

perfection….

©Amanda Catherine 

Where Friendship Goes Wrong: A True Story: My Life Now PT. 1

I don't do well with failure. My parents never taught me that failing is OK. This means that I don't try doing a lot of things. I used to be really good at guitar and I stopped because some mean girls told me I sucked. Trying to get back into it is one of the biggest challenges for me. I expect myself to be as good as I was 10 years ago and that's just not how things work.

My whole life I've taken the easy way around things. For example when I was in High School I had a few teachers approach me and say "I've heard about you from your other teachers. I'll just give you a D if you come to class because I don't want to deal with teaching you." At the time this seemed like an awesome deal, but now I don't know anything about the world. Yea, I have a career but until recently I didn't even know what WWI was fought over.

I'd like to say that my parents helped me with homework and hobbies but they didn't. My mom admitted that she didn't help me because she didn't want me being better at something than her. Aren't parents supposed to want nothing but the best for their children? Guess not. My dad's a mechanic and he gets mad at me for not knowing anything about cars, but he refuses to teach me because I am a girl.

I've gone my whole life thinking there is something wrong with me because I was always tossed aside. As I get older I see that it was just because I was to much trouble to help/ teach so everyone just gave up. What example does that set for anyone? Not a good one that's for sure.

I honestly just wanna look in the mirror and feel proud of the person staring back at me. But for some reason I don't and I don't think I ever will. I had so many goals that I have made that have fallen through due to crappy circumstances and I don't think I can ever forgive myself. I can never forgive myself for having crappy parents, for having teachers gave up on me, for having friends that treat me like crap because in the end everyone's excuse was "it's your fault."

©Amanda Catherine

This is another new story idea. Let me know if you like it.

Stand (A Poem)

I just want to be better
than who I was before.
As I walk through that open door
The light floods me.

I've made some mistakes,
Some have gone to far
But in the end these
Are the steps I leave behind me.
They are not straight,
Some I have taken to far
But each step is a journey to find
Where I belong.

I have delt with sadness, happiness and joy
But all these emotions have
made me strong.
Strong enough to not be afraid
Of who I am, but to embrace my true self.
I am not perfect, but I try.
I am not strong but you cannot
tell me otherwise.

With all that I have gone through
I feel like I am a brick wall
And cannot be torn down.
I will stand tall,
Even if I have nothing to stand for at all.

©Amanda Catherine

The beauty within you and me

I’m not like you,

you’re not like me.

We both just want to be

who we want to be. 

We all feel lost, 

we all feel alone.

We will live our lives

and get stories of our own.

We all feel love,

we all feel despair.

We all want a taste of love so rare. 

In this life I hope you see 

the beauty that is within you and me.

©Amanda Catherine

Strive (A Poem)

The older I get,
The more I see
How things are meant to be.

I am not meant
To get whatever I want.
I am meant
To get what I strive for.

Sure I've pushed on by
And made my own way.
But for me it's never been
My way or the highway.

It's always been a
Game of Duck Duck goose
Where I'll just follow you around
And hope that I don't eventually drown

Drown in the ideas of
What I need to be,
Instead of what I strive to be.
©Amanda Catherine

Where Friendship Goes Wrong: A True Story: Friends With Benefits

This is going to be a side story of my current on going story. What can happen when you sext? Let me tell you because it's time to open up about this. It's messy and complicated and honestly made my life a total mess. 

It all started when Anna was around the age of 16. After visiting her family for the holidays Anna had met one of her cousins friends and they hit it off so well it was almost crazy. She looked at him once and she immediately fell into that true love feeling. He was younger than her, but she didn't care. She really started to think he was the one, just from talking to him for only a few minutes. He gave her his number but she was to nervous to call or text him until she was really looking for someone to talk to about everything. It started out with a few random texts here and there about life and music but as time went on it turned into something more, way more. Her feelings for this boy named Remy started to grow. She didn't mean for it to happen but it was just so easy, especially with him. One her break from school she decided to go visit family and see him. She Anna pretty much spent the whole time with him and it was amazing. She never wanted it to end, but unfortunately she had to go back home, her feelings were all in a bundle. She didn't know what to think. It was obvious to her that he did not feel the same feelings towards her as he just kept treating her like a friend. But when it came down to it Remy just kept leading Anna on with his texts. A lot of them would say nice things and then have a ton of <3 at the end. Anna played along until one night... Anna had gotten a text from another friend named Jax asking her to send him pictures of her body. Anna was so appalled by this. "Who would want to do that" she thought to herself. It didn't help that Anna had never liked her body so the fact that someone else would was amazing to her. She told Remy about the whole conversation she had with the other boy and he wrote her back and said "we should do that, I think you are beautiful." Anna really didn't want to do this but deep down she was hoping that he eventually would start to like her more like a girlfriend rather than a friend. Anna took a picture of herself just in her pajamas and he wrote her back "what's that I can barely see anything!" Kind of being a bit playful but also wanting Anna to be more of a tease. She sent him another one and it still wasn't good enough. He wanted Anna to be topless. Anna was uncomfortable with this but she didn't want to stop talking to him so she went along with it. He wrote her again and it said "if you send me a good one I will send you a picture of my well....stuff." Anna face turned red, she was so embarrassed. Once she sent him a picture and she got one back she immediately deleted it. Anna really wasn't interested in seeing his... stuff,  it was a little to forward for her. She didn't know how to say that she no longer wanted to do this so she just kept going with it. 

After this had gone on for a few more months Anna got up the courage to ask him what they were. Where they in a relationship, just friends? Her fingers trembled as she was typing in her text. She didn't know how she would feel with any response. She sent her text and waited a while for an answer. She thought to herself "well this could be a bad sign." All of the sudden she got a text back that said "Where just friends with benefits, Honestly I think of you like a sister." Anna's head flooded with all sorts of emotions and thoughts. How could he say that we are friends with benefits but then say that I am a sister to him? Not responding back she got a text a little bit later that said "I phrased that wrong I mean that you are the person I go to talk to about anything without judgement and I really enjoy what we are doing." This was Anna's moment to say exactly how she was feeling but instead she kept quiet about everything that she was feeling. Instead she wrote back,"I really enjoy talking to you as well." Hoping that he would have gotten the hint. He didn't... he just wrote back. "Wanna sext.?"

To Be Continued... <3 ;) 

 ©Amanda Catherine

Hey guys hopefully you like this little side story of my current story I had to backtrack a little bit so I hope it makes since, I really did try. :)  Gonna upload the video I made about this when it gets a little more intense otherwise I would ruin the saddest part. To any family reading this I love my current boyfriend. These feelings are in the past, way gone. 

With Love and Butterflies 

MandAnna
Check Out My Other Stories!

Smoking And Fights: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/10/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_15.html

Feeling Invisible: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/10/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_13.html

Inside My Head: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/10/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_8.html

My Thoughts On School Shootings: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/10/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story.html

Making New Friends: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/09/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story.html 

My Thoughts On the Story So Far: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_84.html

Anna's High School Poems 2: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_25.html

Learning How to Drive: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_24.html

Falling Pants Recital: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_22.html

Sneaking Out of the House: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_44.html

Behind The Characters: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_26.html

Valentines Dance Disaster: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_18.html

Underage Public Drinking: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_17.html

A Brief Summary 2: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_16.html

A Romantic Interest: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_15.html

Getting Banned From Hobby Lobby: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_69.html

Failing In a Mosh Pit: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_47.html

Judgmental Family: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_10.html

Anna Gets Suspended: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_9.html

Anna's High School Poems: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_8.html

A Summary Of Current Events: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_19.html

An Unexpected Turn of Events: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_6.html

Reality Sets In: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_5.html

The Unthinkable Happens: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_4.html

Truth Or Dare: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story.html

The Rumor Mill: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true_2.html

Behind The Story: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true_31.html

The Betrayal: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true_31.html

The Chain Of Inappropriate Texts: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_29.html

The Awkward Dinner: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_29.html

The Sleepover: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_28.html

Friends Becoming Friends: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_25.html

The Introduction: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story.html

Where Friendship Goes Wrong: A True Story: Making New Friends!

With Jenny and Ashley preoccupied hanging out with their boyfriends Anna decided to take this as an opportunity to try and pull away from them. She didn't want to rely on them as much for friendship. Anna started to hang out more with Holly and Alaina. She didn't realize how much they all had in common. They all didn't get along with their parents, they were rejects and never tried to be over achievers in school, only doing enough work to barely pass. It was funny, they were a good and bad influences on Anna, the more she hung out with them the more she ditched class but she felt more accepted. Which made her feel more confident with in herself. When they hung out they would often go to bowling alleys, not to bowl but to mingle with the staff that worked there. Anna and Holly often went to the bowling alley on Friday nights because her mom was in a bowling league. This made them become friends with the staff since they were all around the same age. They were all even friends on MySpace. With them making friends together Anna was starting to realize how friends were supposed to treat each other. Ashley and Jenny always treated Anna like she was their enemy. She never quite got why, but she was starting to see why more and more. 

Most of her friends didn't know this but her dad was emotionally abusive so Anna always thought bad about herself because that is what she was always told. This made Anna always think that everyone was better than her, especially Ashley and Jenny. So when they all became friends Anna became easy to manipulate into whatever Jenny wanted her to be. With Anna starting to realize this she didn't want anything to do with her. 

Anna got home one night and sat down and read though all of her recently written poems. It was amazing to her how many of them were about Jenny and how she always made her feel bad. What was even more amazing to her was how she never questioned it until now. Anna could hear her dad yelling in the living room about something stupid again. She could hear her mom leave so she took that as an opportunity to lock her bedroom door. Her dad never came into her room, but she felt safer with it locked. She sat back down on her bed and read through more of her writings. She didn't know how to handle it, but she knew she had to figure out a way. Good thing she was starting to make some amazing new friends to help guide her along the way. 

©AmandaCatherine

Check Out My Other Stories!

My Thoughts On the Story So Far: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_84.html

Anna's High School Poems 2: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_25.html

Learning How to Drive: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_24.html

Falling Pants Recital: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_22.html

Sneaking Out of the House: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_44.html

Behind The Characters: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_26.html

Valentines Dance Disaster: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_18.html

Underage Public Drinking: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_17.html

A Brief Summary 2: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_16.html

A Romantic Interest: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_15.html

Getting Banned From Hobby Lobby: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_69.html

Failing In a Mosh Pit: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_47.html

Judgmental Family: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_10.html

Anna Gets Suspended: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_9.html

Anna's High School Poems: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_8.html

A Summary Of Current Events: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_19.html

An Unexpected Turn of Events: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_6.html

Reality Sets In: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_5.html

The Unthinkable Happens: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_4.html

Truth Or Dare: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story.html

The Rumor Mill: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true_2.html

Behind The Story: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true_31.html

The Betrayal: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true_31.html

The Chain Of Inappropriate Texts: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_29.html

The Awkward Dinner: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_29.html

The Sleepover: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_28.html

Friends Becoming Friends: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_25.html

The Introduction: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story.html

Where Friendship Goes Wrong: A True Story: Judgmental Family

It's Holiday break and Anna finds herself shoved in a car for 19 hours with her parents, they were driving to see family. Most of her family she was OK with, but some she hated more than anything. They made dealing with her friends a piece of cake. Her parents and her always exchanged gifts before they left, to make traveling easier. (Not as much to pack) Her mom always got her a new CD that she would play on her CD player most of the way there. She always brought her huge pack of CD's but getting a new one was always exciting. This year her mom had gotten her Bon Jovi this year. Anna kept playing "Have a nice day" over and over in preparation of dealing with family. It never worked, but it gave her a little self confidence boost. They were still about 6 hours away stuck in the middle of Iowa, they was nothing there, nothing fun to look at. Bored out of her mind her and her mom play traveling connect 4 and hang man to make the time go faster. Her dad got annoyed by the beepy sounds from her electronics so everything had to be on mute, always, unless headphones were involved. But her and her mom always had fun anyways. 

They finally arrived and Anna walks out of the car, it was always so humid here so her hair felt like it almost immediately became a giant ball of curl and frizz. She walks up to her grandparents door and goes in, they were always so welcoming and their home was always so well decorated. It was even better at Christmas time. Anna loved coming here, but hated what came with it. Some of her family can be extremely judgmental, good thing she didn't have to see them for a few days. Her and her dad joked about messing with the family that always made fun of her. They had actually came up with some really good ideas. One of her favorites was since she dressed like a goth... or her version of a goth anyways. One of her friends had given her a pair of his huge pants that had buckles and chains on them. He had even hemmed them and made them shorter just for her, they became her favorite pants. Her family did not know that she dressed like this, so when they saw the bad side of her family she was going to come in rockin the crap outta them. That side of her family always made fun of people who dressed in them whenever they were out, so this would be a shocker! 

Today was the day and she gets her most favorite outfit on and walks out and into the car with the biggest smile on her face. She was beyond excited. It was about an hour away to get there so she was thinking of good one liners to say back to them once they said something. She had thought of some good ones. They pull up and she get a huge knot in her stomach and she wasn't sure if she could do this anymore. Her dad smiled at her in the rear view mirror and she took a breath and got out of the car and goes inside. This side of her family was very obsessed with her cousins. Her cousins were always better than her in every way. She always felt left out because ever since she was little they never let her hang out with them and this time was no different. Anna had two options, hang out with the cousins who ignored her pure presence or hang out with their parents who always talked about how much better they were than her. She choose option three, hang out alone in a corner with her CD player. It took a while but she got a tap on her foot and it was her 3 cousins and they said "What are you wearing? You look stupid" Anna ignores those nerves in her stomach and says "yeah, well at least I am different." They kicked her CD player and left. Trying to fix the skipping going on with her CD she hears her mom and dad talking with family. Her family kept saying to her parents how much better their kids were then her, as usual. But what made Anna really mad was that she was never given the chance to be herself there. She was always rejected by this side of the family. She couldn't help but start thinking what they kept saying about her..."she has no personality, she isn't pretty, she's not smart, she should just drop out of school and that there was nothing special about her." 

Wanting to talk to someone about she sends a text to Brian and they talk about how stupid her family is. He made her feel better, she couldn't have thanked him enough for that. He always had her back. At this point in time she still had 3 days left of visiting family. She felt like she could take whatever came at her, and she did. She decided to not let family members comments get to her, they did not really know her, so they had no right being so judgmental. She didn't shine like the brightest star but she was a star that was very dim in the background. She was coming into her own and learning how to ignore the things that do not matter. In doing this she was able to find somewhere that she belonged within her family. 

To be continued... <3 :)
©AmandaCatherine

Check Out My Other Stories!

Anna Gets Suspended: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_9.html

Anna's High School Poems: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_8.html

A Summary Of Current Events: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_19.html

An Unexpected Turn of Events: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_6.html

Reality Sets In: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_5.html

The Unthinkable Happens: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_4.html

Truth Or Dare: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story.html

The Rumor Mill: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true_2.html

Behind The Story: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true_31.html

The Betrayal: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true_31.html

The Chain Of Inappropriate Texts: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_29.html

The Awkward Dinner: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_29.html

The Sleepover: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_28.html

Friends Becoming Friends: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_25.html

The Introduction: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story.html

Where Friendship Goes Wrong: A True Story: Reality Sets In

Anna woke up to the birds chirping and walked to the mirror. She looked up and she had black bags under her eyes, it isn't like after an event like that she could of actually slept. She had about 40 missed calls from Ashley and Jenny, but at this point in time she did not care. Surviving this madness was what she spent her time doing, it isn't like they actually cared. If they did, it wouldn't have ended like this. She slams the bathroom door out of rage and the mirror on it breaks. She thinks to herself "Oh well 7 years of bad luck, what's that going to do to me. I am already in hell" and continues walking, not caring about the mess that she left trailed behind her. She grabs her Lynyrd Skynyrd backpack that has about 8 weeks of unfinished papers and homework in it and heads to school. With her life drama, homework was the last thing from her mind.

While at school she kept herself secluded from anyone and everything. People just cause drama. Especially in High School where everyone just wants to fit in, no matter the consequences. Her plan was to become a nobody. It shouldn't be that hard right? She looks up and sees Wyatt and Lincoln leaving an advisers office. At this point all secrets were off as she goes and asks the adviser why they were there. He tells her they were changing schools, they would be attending her school next semester. She falls into a chair as, like she was passing out. The adviser just stared at her confused. She runs out of the advisers office and she kept saying how fine she was because he kept asking. Wishing one of the jocks would shove her into a locker or that she was small enough to fit into her guitar case she finds enough courage to keep going to class. She was forming a collection of failing slips and advisory requests. If it wasn't one thing it was another. Later she ends up in an office with about 4 different people from her school, all advisers or counselors. They kept asking her why she was failing almost every class, how her home life was, if she had thought about dropping out and getting a GED and why there were so many rumors going around about her. She didn't say anything, she was surprised about how fast everyone was giving up in her and gets up and walks out.

Ashley and Jenny were waiting for her by her locker, the one place Anna frequented. Ashley says "so I heard what you did to my brother, my mom is still mad you know. You could have really messed up Lincolns future." It was becoming blatantly obvious that no one cared about her or her future. She pushes them both out of the way and leaves school, she was excused for the rest of the day because of the advisory meeting she was supposed to be in. She puts on her headphones and ignores the world and then she runs into Wyatt and Lincoln outside, Lincoln looks at her, honestly she was kind of hoping for an apology even if he didn't mean it. Those words, I'm sorry, could make everything seem not so bad. He hands her a note and she opens it. It reads,

Anna, 

It is better if people see what happened in this way. I have to much on the line to have to deal with this. Also I know you liked it as much as I liked doing it to you.

Lincoln

Anna starts crying, tears up the note and throws it at him right as Jenny comes out and starts making out with Wyatt. Lincoln pushes Anna up against against a tree and tries to make out with her. One of Anna's teachers sees what is going on and intervenes. It was her favorite teacher, Mr. Jones. He pulls Anna up to his classroom that was empty and sits her down, hands her a box of tissues and says "tell me everything, I know something is wrong. You can't hide it anymore.

To be continued... <3

©AmandaCatherine

Check Out My Other Stories!

The Unthinkable Happens: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_4.html

Truth Or Dare: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story.html

The Rumor Mill: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true_2.html

Behind The Story: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true_31.html

The Betrayal: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true_31.html

The Chain Of Inappropriate Texts: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_29.html

The Awkward Dinner: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_29.html

The Sleepover: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_28.html

Friends Becoming Friends: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_25.html

The Introduction: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story.html

Where Friendship Goes Wrong: A True Story: My interview with The Sullivan Scripter

Hello everyone! Recently I was recently introduced to a young blogger named Justin. He does interviews,stories, articles and podcasts! He was nice enough to interview me about my "Where friendship goes wrong" stories. Since everything I write is based on true events I didn't want to leave anything left unsaid in my interview. Please, please, please check out his page he has lots of good posts up,  http://thesullivanscripter.weebly.com/blog/archives/06-2015 
Thanks Justin for all the kind words you said about me! : http://thesullivanscripter.weebly.com/blog/interview-with-amanda-catherine-mandamoonflowerbloggercom


Hello, everyone, it is Justin here again,

About 2 weeks ago, I found this great blog known as mandamoonflower.blogger.com. It details the life of a woman known as Amanda Catherine, the author, along with the struggles, hardships, and positives that go with it. She is a pleasant person, and I highly suggest reading her blog. She writes very from the heart, and that takes a lot in a writer. I thought that while the story itself may repeat itself many times throughout history, this is a very well-written perspective on it. (A few grammar mistakes, but I'm just a grammar Nazi, so oh well) I did an interview on her, and this is what she had to say to my questions. Very interesting responses. My questions are bold, her answers are in normal text. Here they are, just how they came to me via email:

You have clearly been through a lot, at least according to your blog. All of those stories are 100% real, true? 
Yes, everything in my story is true. Everything that has happened thus far in my story has happened to me.  

Are you in a better place now?
I am in a way better place now. There are some parts of the story that are painful for me to write, but I love writing them to much to stop. I do find love, not only love but true love, I am coming up to that part of the story here soon. Since everything that happened to me happened in High School I never got a great education, I was to distracted with friend and home life drama to care about school. I can honestly say I am lucky to have graduated and because of this I was never able to go to college. I took some college prep classes but nothing ever came from them because even the simplest of topics I still struggle with. I have to start from the bottom and work my way up with everything I do. I was lucky enough to find a great set of friends. They are so amazing that I don't think I deserve them. We love each other and have a great time together. It brings a smile just to my face to say that. You'll often find us playing Dungeons and Dragons on the weekends. I never thought that my life would have gotten as good as it has right now.

For those that haven’t read your blog, you mentioned that you played guitar. Do you still play guitar or another instrument?
After the comment that my friends made to me in "The Chain on Inappropriate Texts" story, I do eventually stop playing. I have that same guitar I played back then and I do pick it up and play "Sweet Dreams" by the Eurythmics every now and then. I have been slowly getting back into it, but when someone you trust says something that harsh to you it can take a while stop thinking that about yourself. The sad part is I was actually really good. I had made it all the way to the advanced lessons when I stopped. I do hope to someday start again and not be fearful of people judging me when I play.  

Do you have a specific goal with writing? Like inspiring people, keeping track, or just write for the fun of it?
When I first started writing on my blog my goal was to inspire people. Now my goal is to show people that they are not alone. Everyone is going through something you don't know about, because of this my goal became to show someone who maybe going through a rough time that there is someone out there that they can relate to. Someone who gets it. I hope when my people read my story that they do not feel sorry for me but that they can relate to me and my quirks or actions or even my story. 

How long have you been writing for?
I wrote my first poem in 2003 when I was in 7th grade. It's now been 12 years since then and I am still going strong with writing. My writing has definitely improved since then but I like to refer back to my 2003 writing for inspiration a lot. Sometimes it feels like I saw things a lot more clearly back then. 

Did you write before starting your mandamoonflower.blogger.com blog?
I did write a lot before starting the mandamoonflower blog. I actually started the blog in 2013 because I wanted to push myself to write more. I had my ups and downs with it at first but I have it figured it now. I know now what I want to write about and how I want to go about it. 

Do you have any advice for other bloggers out there?
Don't give up please! There are many times I stopped posting because no one was reading my posts. I had to learn the hard way that when blogging you have to blog for you and not be obsessed with stats. It also took me a really long time to figure out what I wanted to write about, what I wanted my blog to be. At first I knew that I was good at writing poetry so I did that, but I never got what I wanted out of it. I wanted to effect people and writing about flowers really wasn't doing the trick anymore. That's when I started writing my life story and everything clicked. I never thought in a million years that my story would become so popular but I am really glad it did. 

I think that she deserves a lot more attention than she is getting. She has clearly learned a lot throughout her life, and it really shows, if you are reading this, Amanda. ;)