Haunt my imagination (A Poem)

Silence

Darkness

Solitude.

So many wants,

but yet so many

fears

loneliness

lies.

Tiny lies

that haunt my imagination.

Must not bring myself down,

I can do whatever I can

believe.

Believe in myself,

the rest will follow.

Joy

happiness

perfection….

©Amanda Catherine 

Troubles (A Poem)

I'm to troubled

To bother to be what I strive be.

I'm to angry at my life

to see where I fit in this world.

I'm to self conscious

to see the beauty that

may lye within me and

I'm to lost to find myself.

Maybe it's my lack if trying

or my fear of the happiness

that would come my way.

I fear to be happy,

I just run away.
I run away
from things

That bring me joy.

I need to change.

No more running,

no more fear.

Just me the way I want to be,

the way I need to be.

©Amanda Catherine

Rose Petals (A Poem)

Look at all the rose petals on the ground.

They fall from broken hearts,

that couldn't hold on any longer.

A reflection of a shooting star passes over

that makes far hope grow near,

a hope of romance and compassion

that makes each petal part of one rose,

that all can hold near.

It may reflect the past

and what it could have been,

but you know that it is better this way.

Lost to love

and completing a simple rose

that you can surrender your everything to.

©Amanda Catherine

You Are (A Poem)

You're fat,

you're thin,

you're emotional

you're an eating disorder.

You're sad,

you're depressed,

you're alone.

You're a mystery.

You walk alone

down the streets 

of people

that feel the same. 

You avoid eye contact,

No one understands

why you act this way.

You look at your feet

sigh.

Everyone is talking about you

right?

People walk past you

make you feel invisible.

They are getting 

into your head.

But you are doing

 the same to them.

We all just walk

on by,

no one understands

or cares. 

We are to busy

in our lives

to be. 

©Amanda Catherine

Regret (A Poem)

A little lost,

A little alone.

I've never been able

To call this life my own.

Nowhere to run to,

Nowhere to hide.

I wish I could show these

Feelings that are bursting inside.

I've failed more than I have won,

It's hard to believe all

That I have never done.

Regrets shadow my every thought.

I wish I could change who I am

To who I want to be.

I am sick of being this

Person who is not me.

©Amanda Catherine

Shattered (A Poem)

To much to think about,

Can't sleep.

To much to write about,

Won't sleep.

My head is turning,

my thoughts begin to wander.

I want to be a good person,

make my life matter.

To bad my self esteem is shattered.

Shattered to what feels like

the point of no repair.

I hope someone will read this

and they will see,

oh how things are meant to be.

No one should ever feel alone,

rejected and tossed aside in a crowd.

Thinking, when will I fit in?

Thinking, how do I fit in?

©Amanda Catherine

Fading into the Shadows (A Poem)

Cast in the shadows

I will stay

until I fade away.

Yet still I wonder

how much longer?

Does it even bother.

I will never live

to the standard

of anyone else.

Yet I still wonder

should I even try

or just fade into

my emotions that are inside.

No one can hurt me here

seems like a good place to stay

I will let myself fade away.

Fade into what everyone expects

while I try to forget.

Forget what I have become,

the person that you think I should be

instead of being my own true me.

I’m getting to the point where

I am ready to explode,

there is so much pain inside

waiting to be exposed.

I want to be noticed

even with my own true flaws

not lost,

from everyone’s sight

until I get it right.

I want to live my life

for all to see.

No more being cast

in someone else’s shadow

I am here,

I am ready to be seen

seen for the real me.

 ©Amanda Catherine

Dancing in the rain (updated)

Splashing in the puddles
we dance in the rain.
Jumping and laughing
it feels like we could
do this all day.

Dancing reminds us
of how happy life can be.
Flashes of lightning
glimmer from the sky
and we dance
we dance to forget.
To forget the pain as we
let the rain wash it away.

We splash
with flowers in our hair
a reminder of the
beauty that is held within us.
We dance.

©Amanda Catherine

A Better Me (A Poem)

You must be perfect. 

You must hide your flaws,

Hide you personality,

Hide yourself

Why is this? 

I'd rather be imperfect,

more of a story. 

Stories behind every scar

every lost dream. 

My life has never gone 

how I wanted it to. 

Never planned. 

But it has led me here. 

I am a better writer,

a better thinker

a better person.

Better then what I was

A better me. 

©Amanda Catherine 

Eyes (A Poem)

While looking in the mirror, 

Tell me what you see. 

Are those eyes telling stories 

of what could never be.

Your thoughts are gone,

Is everything lost? 

Memories come in,

I should have never done this.

Where are my friends now? 

Less than forgotten 

I travel alone,

My life is all my own.

Along this path I travel off course

With nothing but remorse.

Back on track and

now I see

All of what's in front of me.

A new beginning,

A new past.

All of which I never

Thought I would see

©Amanda Catherine