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Friday, July 31, 2015

Where Friendship Goes Wrong: A True Story:The Betrayal

Anna liked nighttime a lot, but recently it kept getting interrupted by her parents fighting which led to her dad throwing things and yelling at her mom and her. It was never anything she didn't already think of herself so it bothered her but not in the way it should have. Her dad was emotionally abusive which made Anna want to get out of the house even more. She found herself going on a lot of bike rides near Wyatt's house in hoping that he would see her. She hadn't heard anything from him since the night of the sleepover. After the night that they had together she was confused why he never tried to contact her or why he never answered any of her calls, they really hit it off and she really liked him. Anna spent most of her free time writing poems about that night, it was one of the few things that was good that had happened to her recently. She had even told Ashley and Jenny about what happened that night and for a while that's all she would talk about. It made Lincoln mad, but what was new. He couldn't do anything worse to her than what he already was.

One day she was going on one of her "get me out of this house" bike rides when she saw Jenny and Wyatt together. She thought that this was unusual so she stopped and watched to see what was going on. A little stalkerish but she didn't care, They started making out heavily. Jenny was pushed up against a parked car while he was feeling her all over. Anna broke down, and had an emotional break down in the middle of the street because of what she had just witnessed. No wonder Wyatt never got into contact with her, he was to busy shoving his tongue down Jenny's throat. Later that day once she calmed down she nervously called Jenny and confronted her about the incident, Jenny pretty much said that he seemed like a nice guy from all of your stories about you and him so I thought that I would give him a chance. Anna voice cracked as she said "what, what what do you mean, I told you all those stories because I trusted that you wouldn't do anything." Jenny knew how she felt about him and she went and did this, this set Anna over the edge, How could Wyatt do this to her, How could Jenny be so cynical that she pulled this on Anna. Jenny just kept laying on the dirty details saying that Wyatt said that she was a horrible person and that she was an attention whore. Anna hangs up mid conversation on Jenny and throws her phone across her room and screams as she falls onto her bed. She wanted someone to make everything OK, but she knew there was no one but herself to make that happen. She lays in bed all night and never moves with her "For times I am sad" playlist plays on repeat. She rolls over trying to forget all that had happened. Lincoln, Wyatt, Ashley and Jenny, she wanted them all to fade away. When she gets up the courage she goes and grabs her phone to see what new lies were being spread about her. Behind the madness of all the chain texts there was a group conversation going on about her that for some reason she was included in. It was between Jenny, Ashley and Wyatt. They where talking about how much they all didn't like her and saying things that she had supposedly said that where obviously not true. One of the new things that was going around was that Anna had accused one of Wyatt's friends of raping her at the sleepover. She thought back and she had never even met this so called "friend". This was one of those rare occasions that she wished she would of fallen for the peer pressure and took up smoking.

Anna was standing under the crazy tree talking to her other friends when Ashley approaches her and says "how could you do this to all of us, this is all your fault." Of course never asking Anna what she thought of the situation. Just straight up accusing her of things that were not true just because Jenny said so. Even though Anna was furious and wanted to give Ashley a piece of her mind she ignored her and kept talking with her other friends. It takes a few minutes of Ashley still yelling at her but she does eventually walk away. Her other friends named, Donna, Holly and Alaina just stare at Anna and then say the best thing ever..."wow, what a bitch." At that moment Anna figured out who she should really be hanging out with, She laughs and says "yeah, I love you guys" and then heads to class, not realizing the drama she had just started by her one small action of not saying anything.

To be continued <3

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Where Friendship Goes Wrong: A True Story:The Chain of Inappropriate Texts

Anna races home from that horrible dinner and heads to her room where she stands there in stunned silence. She isn't sure why this keeps happening to her. She starts to assume that this is how all men are, that this is how they show affection. This was the only sort of affection that a guy had ever shown her, so this was becoming normal. It was 1 am and Anna was still awake, insomnia was a constant battle with her. Most days she didn't get to bed until 4 am. Since she was always up late that gave her time to write, make playlists of her favorite songs and dance around her room like a crazy person. She always did her best thinking this late,

BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ, her alarm is going off and she rolls over to turn it off and then goes back to sleep. Her mom always had to send in their 2 dogs in the morning to get her up. This rarely ever helped, most of the time the dogs would end up snuggling with her and falling asleep. Odd enough this was always her most favorite part of the day. Sometimes, if she was up early she would just wait for her mom to open her door to send the dogs in. She finally gets up and only has 5 minutes to get ready, this was more than usual so she slowly gets ready and actually eats breakfast, a to- go breakfast but hey it worked. Her mom drops her off and her friends were waiting for her out front of school. Not Ashley and Jenny but her friends that hung under the crazy tree they were all the rejects. She loved these friends, she fit in perfectly with them and there was never any drama. Once finishing up talking with these friends she heads to her 1st class of the day. She was late, but never cared because this was her least favorite teacher. He taught biology and he always made the class watch what they called "animal porn" because it was a video of a bunch of animals doing it. She had one friend in this class she always sat next to, she was always cutting her wrists while in class under the table. Her name was Tina, she always seemed happy but you could tell that she was sad. Much like how Anna felt. They became friends because they hated school, most of their teachers and they both loved to write. They spent most of the class period reading each others writing. Anna was almost done with her school day when she heads to her 2nd to last class, she loved the teacher in this class but did not like anyone in it. She was always made fun of by everyone. It didn't help that a lot of Jenny's friends were in this class and they never left her alone. This class was one of the worst she has had,because of her classmates. Greg, Jenny's friend had gotten Anna's number from Jenny and kept texting her inappropriately things in class. During the last part of class the students were allowed to look at their phones, when Anna pulls out her phone and sees what Greg had been sending her, her mouth drops. Not wanting him to see a reaction from her she puts her phone away until the end of class when she can go through and delete all the horrible texts. When she is leaving class she pulls out her phone and scrolls through them. It was a bunch of texts asking her how big her breasts were, if she was a virgin, if he could have sex with her in the parking lot and if she was as big of a slut as Jenny made her seem. Anna's first reaction was to run up and slap Jenny, but she kept her cool. That is what Jenny would want. Instead she walks up to him and answers all of his questions "I'm a 38 fuckin B, I am still a virgin you fucktard and no you are gross I would never have sex with you in the parking lot and no I am no slut, unlike you" and stares at him. You wouldn't think that this would have worked but it actually made Greg think that she was crazy which made him walk away, if not more run away. Ann 1, Greg 0. Heading to her last class she sat in the back row feeling accomplished, like she could take on anything. Not paying attention she tries doodling in her notebook, her doodles always ended up looking like a huge mess of dog turds and flowers but it relaxed her. While doodling she started daydreaming about random things, mostly about living somewhere else or what it would be like to be someone else. She always wanted to be someone else, someone with skill and talent, the two things she wishes she had.

Since she had a really hard time saying no to Ashley she ended up at her house after school, it was going really well. She was teaching Anna "Sweet Dreams are Made of this" by the Eurythmics. They were both having such a great time. Lincoln was sitting on the sofa staring at her but that didn't bother her, she was to in to getting the song perfect. Ashley says "We should play this song for the talent show!" Anna enthusiastically agrees. She really wanted to show off her skills. That's when Ashley said the worst thing to say, "Jenny really wants to play the guitar with me so maybe you could make up a dance to go along with it? We already have singers and lets face it you aren't that good at playing the guitar or singing anyway." Anna reluctantly agrees, at least she would be on stage, and her 7 years of dance lessons would come in handy. She heads home but not before Lincoln comes up to her and says "What no goodbye?" She stops mid step, sighs and says "Since when did you deserve a goodbye?" He pulls her into the side of the yard and says "You and I would make a cute couple, don't ya think." "What the damn hell" are the only words that came out of her mouth. She really had grown to dislike him and him being nice to her once wasn't going to change that. He was really trying to bring the charm on with all the things he was saying to her. So much so that she really didn't know how to react. No boy had ever shown any interest in her, the only interest guys ever showed in her was things that made her feel uncomfortable and used, besides Wyatt. Wyatt made her feel like she wasn't so invisible. Should she be flattered or disgusted, she really didn't know. It wouldn't be to long until she found out.

To Be Continued. <3
 ©Amanda Catherine
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Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Where Friendship Goes Wrong: A True Story: The Awkward Dinner

After the incident at the sleepover Anna really dis-included herself from a lot her friends activities, she wanted nothing to do with them. She had attempted to talk about it with another one of her childhood friends that went to a different school but she never had the courage. She felt like Lincolns actions were all her fault so she dove into a deep state of depression. Her backpack was covered with suicide poems and her writing went from talking about flowers to death, but no one ever saw her cry for help. She had gotten to good at hiding her pain.

One day Anna was sitting at the park alone contemplating everything that was going on in her life when she got a phone call from Ashley. She ignored the call because she felt like hanging around her was bad news, but Ashley kept calling and calling so she eventually did answer. Anna couldn't help but answer the phone angrily, "What!" she says, Ashley responds back "I just hadn't heard from you in a while and was wondering if you wanted to go out to dinner with my family and I." Anna first thought was, I wonder if Lincoln will be there? It was like Ashley had read her mind as she says "Lincoln won't be coming since he is at football practice." Anna agrees and heads home to get ready to head out to dinner with her family. She found herself really excited about going out, maybe this is just what she needed. She even changed her outfit to something a little bit more classy. Leaving the house in her jeans and favorite purple shirt with a grey pullover, she felt confident and ready to take on the evening. She walks up to Ashley's door as soon as Lincoln gets home, his practice had ended early, That meant he would be coming out to dinner with them. Anna got a huge knot in her stomach, "this can not be happening" she says quietly to herself. Sitting nervously on the sofa tapping her foot waiting for everyone to get ready she was trying to think of a way out of going. She just didn't want to make a big deal about it, she didn't want anyone to know what was going on. After a few more minutes of waiting she ends up going, she was going to try and stay as far away from Lincoln as possible. It was going well, she was able to sit with Ashley in between them the whole way to the restaurant and even at the restaurant. They were squished in the booth, but she didn't care as long as it kept her away from him. Ashley had to go to the bathroom so of course he slid his way over next to her. Anna gives him an evil glare and he just smiles. Their parents were completely oblivious to what was going on, they just kept complaining about the service at the restaurant. At first Lincoln put his hand on her hand that was resting on her lap so no one could see and Anna pushes it away. Ashley comes back and sits on the other side of Lincoln leaving him in the middle. He puts his hand on hers again and she doesn't do anything, maybe if she ignores it he will take it off. To her surprise he moves his hand to her private region and just starts rubbing. Anna tries to ignore it, surprised that no one noticed, but he just kept doing it. Flustered she says "I need to go to the bathroom" and gets up and runs to the bathroom. On the verge of tears she sat in the stall and stayed there until Ashley came in to check on her. She tried to not show that she was crying. She wanted to be strong but it was getting hard.

On the way home from the restaurant all that Anna could think of was the lyrics of that Motion City Soundtrack song again. Even though Lincoln kept touching her she went off into her own little world where everything was OK, where she wasn't afraid of being herself and where everyone accepted her. Best of all in her world there was no Lincoln, but then reality struck when they pulled into the driveway. She got out of the car and just walked home, alone, no goodbye, no thanks for dinner, just straight home. Ashley kept trying to call her but she really didn't want to talk to her.

To be continued... <3
 ©Amanda Catherine
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Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Where Friendship Goes Wrong: A True Story: The Sleepover

Anna sat on the bus alone listening to Motion City Soundtrack "Everything is Alright" hoping that the song would make everything alright. She knew it wouldn't, but she hoped. Just two more stops until she had to get off and walk home. She spent most of this time thinking about life and ways to avoid talking to Ashley and Jenny. They really liked starting fights over the stupidest things, especially with her. Maybe it was because she was such a people pleaser, or that she hadn't found confidence yet so she never knew how to stand up to them. Either way she was getting sick of it, especially since she had to deal with Lincoln. "Ding Ding" went the bus for her stop so she hopped off and started walking home. She got about half way home when she got a phone call from Ashley. Anna reluctantly answers the phone "Hellllo", Ashley answers back "hey my mom is letting have a slumber party this weekend and you are of course invited." Anna goes quiet because of course she didn't want to go...overnight with Lincoln, no thank you. Then she says "I will ask my parents and see if I can go." They hang up and Anna thinks about any excuse to get her out of going. She felt like Winnie the Pooh, "Think, Think, Think." Ug, just another thing I have to worry about now, like I didn't already have enough she thinks to herself as she gets home.  She wasn't even home 2 minutes until her phone rings again and it's Jenny, Anna was already super annoyed with her because she felt like she stole her newly made friend but she answers anyway. On the other end there was just yelling from Jenny because she was mad at her for wearing the same shirt as her to school. Anna just hung up, sat alone and cried. She was frustrated because she wanted to feel like she was accepted in her group of friends and knew that she wasn't.

The day of the slumber party arrives and Anna had not given an answer to Ashley yet even though her parents said she could do whatever she wanted to with it. If her parents knew about everything that was going on they would have said no, but Anna didn't want to say anything. This was her problem and not theirs. So she says yes, to make it seem like nothing was wrong to her parents.

She arrives to the party only to realize that a ton of Lincoln's friends were also invited, Anna's worst nightmare had come true. She doesn't say anything to him and walks past him and goes to Ashley's room. Dealing with them was easier than this. She gets to her room only to find Jenny crying about how she was rapped for the 5th time this week. Ashley is trying to comfort her but didn't know how to handle it. Anna had dealt with this for years. She asked Jenny when it happened, how it happened, and why it happened. She knew she was lying so this was just a plan to get her to stop making such a big deal about it. Jenny realized that she didn't have her rape story figured out so she let it go. Later that night Lincoln and Anna bump into each other downstairs, all of Lincolns friends were around so it became super awkward. One of his friends said that he thought that Anna was "hot" and she didn't know how to handle it so she ignored it and walked into the kitchen. Lincoln preceded to follow her. As soon as they got into the kitchen the first words out of his mouth were "You know you are bunking in my room right." Anna gave him a dumbfounded look and said "No I am not, there is no way that would happen." He approaches her and said "I just thought you could get close to me and my friends."

Arguments later she ends up on a pull out sofa with the friend of his that called her hot, it wasn't perfect but it was better. He was decently nice, unlike Lincoln. She never thought that this would happen but she is really was growing fond of him. She learned that his name was Wyatt and that he was in the same grade as Lincoln (9th). They talked all night and played silly sleepover games like played truth or dare and learned so much about each other. They even shared a kiss, nothing much, just a little peck on the cheek. He made her feel special, a feeling she didn't feel very often.

Morning came to fast and Lincoln barges into the living room where they were and wakes Anna up and pulls her outside. He proceeds to say that she should be ashamed for what she did. He saw the whole thing between her and Wyatt. He pushes her and she falls to the concrete and then he storms inside. He of course never says anything to Wyatt. Lincoln has control over Anna, in a way she didn't like. Everyone leaves and Jenny and Ashley go off and do their own thing which leaves Anna alone... again. Lincoln comes downstairs and sits next to her again and she gets up to try and leave and he pushes her up against the wall and puts his hands under her shirt and says "you know you like it, you have to like it." She was speechless as she shakes her head no. He presses her up against the wall more and starts touching her in spots that he had never touched her in before. She screams but he won't let her loose, she was able to knee him and make a mad dash for it.

She gets home and her parents ask her how it went and she doesn't know what to say. She just walks quietly down to her room to not make her dad mad and hides. Nowhere was safe. So she let her feelings out the only way she knew how. She wrote and wrote about what she wished she had the guts to say, about how she wishes her life was different and about how she could run away from all of her problems. This took her to a place only she was apart of, a place she could call her own...

Until reality takes over and she has to deal with.... everything.

To be continued. <3
©Amanda Catherine

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Saturday, July 25, 2015

Where Friendship Goes Wrong: A True Story: Friends Becoming Friends

As Lincoln approached Anna many thought began to go through her head, "Why was he coming over here?", "Why is he looking at me?". Ashley didn't even seem to notice, or maybe this was just common for him to do. Anna and Ashley had fun that day and they grew into best friends but that means that Anna was around Lincoln a lot more.

Since Anna and Ashley were such good friends that meant that she had to introduce her to all of her other friends that she made in school over the years. Sadly, of all the friends of hers that Ashley connected to the most was her least favorite. Her name was Jenny. Jenny was the meanest to Anna, she constantly criticized how she dressed, how she was a bigger pant size than her and how she had acne. Honestly Anna wondered why she still hung around her, but that is besides the point. Once everyone became close, Ashley's house became the prime time hang out place.

The more Anna was over at Ashley's the more complicated things go with Lincoln. They got left alone a lot because Ashley and Jenny kept dis-including her from the group. Lincoln was growing really fond of her, and then the weirdest thing happened. Lincoln started touching her in all the wrong places. They would sit on the sofa together and while they were alone and he would put his hand up her shirt. At first Anna thought that this was just the way that guys showed that they liked you but she really didn't like it. She kept thinking maybe the further she distanced herself from him the better it might get and the more he may leave her alone.

But that didn't work, it just got worse.

To be continued...

©Amanda Catherine
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Thursday, July 23, 2015

Where Friendship Goes Wrong: A True Story: The Introduction

This is the story of a girl and all her friends, not the were going to be best friends forever kind but the truthful kind. You see as much as people believe friendships last, they don't. People grow, drift apart and well, just end up doing different things. But that doesn't mean they can't get into trouble while they are young, adventurous and all still friends...

One day, Anna, was sitting at the table and noticed a young girl sitting at a lunch table all alone and to her this was unusual, normally everyone was sitting in their cliques. She went over and started talking to the girl named Ashley. She started telling Anna about how she was new to the school and did not have any friends. Once they got really talking they realized all that they had in common, that's when Anna decided to take her under her wing and show her the ropes of High School and introduce her to all of her friends. A mistake that Anna will later regret, but we will talk more on that later. Ashley invited Anna over to her house after school to play the guitar since that is one thing that they realized they had in common. Anna enthusiastically agrees that they should hang out after school, honestly anything to get her away from all of her other friends was exciting to her, Her other friends were not that nice to her. 

Anna gets home from school and decides to make a snack and then head down to Ashley's house since they also ironically lived really close to each other. Making her frozen burrito she thinks to herself I wounder what song we will play on the guitar? Will she like me? Will we be BFF'S? She ignores those thoughts since they never seem to end and eats at the dinner table petting her dogs and talking to them about life. Once she finishes she cleans up and then hops on her bike and heads down to Ashley's. She thought she had the right house but of course ends up getting lost, and at this point in time they had not exchanged numbers so it was her best guess as to which house was hers. Good thing she was very confident and just asked the neighbors if anyone had moved into a house in this part of the neighborhood recently... and that lead her to Ashley's house. It seemed really nice on the outside, it was a purple house with a big front and backyard. The backyard lead out to a rec-center which was fun. Anna started thinking about all the fun they could have and heads up the door. "Ding Dong", "Ding Dong". Ashley comes up to the door and opens it and lets her in. They engage in small talk for a while and talk about school, animals, music and their weird teachers. They found out that they were both sophomores. All was going well until her brother, Lincoln, saw Anna and came out into the family room where they were and it all went down hill from there...

...To be Continued :)  

©Amanda Catherine