Where Friendship Goes Wrong: A True Story: Inside My Head

Those who have been keeping up with my story probably know that I was never the most confident in High School... or ever really. There are many things that I know now about the situation I was in that I wish I would have known then. For some people they would wish to go back and fix their mistakes for me I wish that everyone involved got their lives figured out and are better people through learning from their mistakes. I'll admit, my naivetés never helped the situation or me in anyway, shape or form but I did eventually learn... A little late, but that doesn't matter as much now. I still have issues in everyday life from thinking that people are constantly out to get me and I spend way more time in the quietness of my home than is needed. I don't know if it is a fear of people or the fear that I am going to have to go through that again. Most of you may know that I don't have very many if any friends at all. Most of my friends are online and oddly enough that works for me. Back in High School I wish I would have known that it is better to have one good friend than a lot of as I call them "sour friends". I wanted friends just to have friends, not because they were necessarily good for me. My life in High School became making my "sour friends" happy and not myself. Those types of situations never end well. I can honestly say I lost who I was. Even to this day, I look at myself in pictures or in the mirror and all I see is a sad person trying to force a smile. I know I still have my issues, but I am better than I have been currently. I am still trying to find that quirky, sassy person that I used to be. It may take a while and I am ok with that... I think. All my life I have been told where to go or who to be and I am finally free to make my own decisions or even to see myself how I see fit. I feel like my family was or I guess is the worst at making me feel bad about my body. I can tell you without a doubt that I hate my body. It may be because I was always told that I was fat or ugly but I really do hate everything about it. Within my family I am the forgotten one and I will always be the forgotten one. I will never be better than any of them. I don't even waste my time visiting most of them because it's a constant put down. I know that it is how they see me and how they see themselves but it is hard to be around that. I am not as successful as most of them and will never be as successful as most of them. But as some people pointed out to me recently your work does not define you, the type of person you are does. Which is why I always try to be nice to everyone I meet. I don't know their struggles and they don't know mine but that doesn't mean for the brief second we have together I can't try and make their day a little bit brighter. So don't forget to give someone a compliment during your day! I know that I have messed up some peoples' lives and there are some people who have messed up mine but I never regret having them in my life for the most part.

I almost forgot to tell you guys, I saw Greg the inappropriate texting guy from my story, it was awkward. His mouth dropped when he saw me. I don't know if that is good or bad but it happened. From the way things were left between us we didn't say anything but we stared at each other for quite some time. He knows how mad I was about everything so I think he was afraid to approach me. The last time I saw him he was hanging out with all of the people that hurt me, which was pretty much all of my high school friends. I don't know why but at the time it really upset me. They are all still really good friends now even. I think I was so mad because they all bonded over everything that happened with me so I felt betrayed (again). Now I feel like that was meant to be. We couldn't be friends anymore nor did I want to be friends with them so I am glad that they have each other.

To be continued!!

©Amanda Catherine

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Check Out My Other Stories! 

My Thoughts On School Shootings: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/10/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story.html

Making New Friends: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/09/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story.html 

My Thoughts On the Story So Far: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_84.html

Anna's High School Poems 2: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_25.html

Learning How to Drive: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_24.html

Falling Pants Recital: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_22.html

Sneaking Out of the House: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_44.html

Behind The Characters: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_26.html

Valentines Dance Disaster: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_18.html

Underage Public Drinking: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_17.html

A Brief Summary 2: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_16.html

A Romantic Interest: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_15.html

Getting Banned From Hobby Lobby: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_69.html

Failing In a Mosh Pit: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_47.html

Judgmental Family: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_10.html

Anna Gets Suspended: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_9.html

Anna's High School Poems: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_8.html

A Summary Of Current Events: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_19.html

An Unexpected Turn of Events: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_6.html

Reality Sets In: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_5.html

The Unthinkable Happens: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_4.html

Truth Or Dare: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story.html

The Rumor Mill: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/08/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true_2.html

Behind The Story: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true_31.html

The Betrayal: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true_31.html

The Chain Of Inappropriate Texts: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_29.html

The Awkward Dinner: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_29.html

The Sleepover: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_28.html

Friends Becoming Friends: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story_25.html

The Introduction: http://mandamoonflower.blogspot.com/2015/07/where-friendship-goes-wrong-true-story.html